Razorblade Romance (Ville Valo Fanfic)

80. A Solitary Reign

I sat so low on the chair, trying to hide myself I almost fell from it. She was wearing a white shirt, opposed to her always black outfit, and she looked so amazingly elegant. She was wearing high heels, looking professional. I knew she wasn't much fond of it, but she was lovely. There was a woman beside her, I guessed it was Dr. Virtanen. She spoke a bit about Eve.

"I hope you all enjoy her class, she was one of my most brilliant students, unfortunately we didn't finish her project together, but here she is, again with us. I think you all can learn a lot with her."

Eve looked shy, she was blushing. I had the urge to smile so much I was still covering my mouth with the back of my hand. She was so lovely.

I saw she was wearing the bracelet I gave her, she touched it constantly. That warmed my heart. I couldn't use the necklace anymore, it reminded of her so much, it was just too painful to have it around my neck all the time.

She thanked and started the class. She always told me she was very shy and had problems to speak in public, but it didn't seem the case today. She was confident, and she was like one of those professors that you feel at ease with. "Don't bother copying everything, just make your personal notes, doubts and we speak later. I can send all the slides afterwards, so don't worry." She turned off the lights, for my relief, I would be hidden. "I won't turn off all of them otherwise you'll sleep."

I heard a comment from two guys behind me, very disrespectful and rude, about Eve. They were saying they would never sleep in class having a hot professor like her, they would rather sleep with her. I turned my head and said nothing, but my look probably said it all. They seemed intimidated and shrugged. I wouldn't say anything, otherwise she would see me. What a bunch of fuckers.

God, I missed hearing her sweet voice. I was so uneasy I had to hold on to the chair. I wanted to go there and tell her how much I was sorry. That I didn't have the courage to look for her, so ashamed I was. And that I never meant to hurt her.

And that I loved her so much.

My chest even hurt, I couldn't bare anymore, but what else could I do? If I tried to leave now, she would definitely see me. I glanced at the clock. I still had time, but I started to worry about my lecture.

I decided to let myself enjoy the moment. She was so resourceful, she was born to be a professor, although she preferred to be a researcher. She was patient when someone asked her something, confident, I admired her so much. I wish I had half of her confidence.

I didn't have any idea of what she was talking about, but I payed attention to every word she said. I looked around and saw everybody was very attentive as well. Maybe even the two assholes behind me.

Ah, these new glasses looked so good on her. I would love to remove them to kiss her. I smiled at the image. But this was something I would never do again. I could only dream about it, I tried to remember how was the touch of her lips on mine.

Sometimes I had nightmares I was forgetting her face, the sound of her voice, the feeling of her touch, her scent. But to haunt me, I knew I would never forget.

My cellphone started to buzz and she looked at my direction, I got down behind the student that was in front of me, quickly. I felt like an idiot. When I got up, she was still looking at my direction.

She saw me.

And she froze. Damn, I felt even more idiot to disturb her. She then turned to the slides, trying to catch up. "Why don't we have a break? We return in fifteen minutes." She turned the lights on, looking at me again, like she didn't believe what she was seeing. She grabbed her things and went out. I needed to talk to her. Before, I turned to those guys behind me. "If I ever catch you two talking shit or being disrespectful with her in any way again, I'll fucking kill you." They didn't say anything, just looked scared and I went after her.