Razorblade Romance (Ville Valo Fanfic)

93. Killing Myself For Your Love

I was entering the 24th week already, my bump was finally growing like it should. Charlotte had around 30 cm, she was a bit smaller than average and it got me worried, but Dr. Paikkala said she was healthy. We could see her breathing on the ultrasound. It seemed silly, but these small things would made me feel very emotional about it.

My mom and Anna were at home, they were helping with the baby shower. My dad couldn't come, because of his work. Nick would arrive soon, he would stay only for the weekend.

"Your bump is so cute. But it's funny, you're pregnant, you only have a bump, really. You're still skinny." Anna laughed.

"Yeah, I'm a weird pregnant lady."

"What matters it's that you and the baby are healthy." My mom said.

Leena and Natali were also helping me with the baby shower stuff. I never cared for this kind of thing, I didn't want to have kids before, so I didn't know how those things worked.
They helped with decorations and stuff like that.

"Are you okay, darling?" Ville pulled me to him, he was busy, too.

"Yes. These things are kinda exhausting, but I think everything is alright now. The girls helped me a lot."

"Yeah, Burton and Gas were helping me, too. Mige as well."

"And my little girl here, is she okay?" Ville held my belly.

"She's not complaining. Maybe she's sleeping."

"Can't we fast forward? I wanna hold her."

"No, let me enjoy every bit of it. I can protect her while she's here."

"You're right. We have to enjoy the best way we can."

"Oh, look. People are arriving already." It was Henrik.

"He came early."

"Actually I asked him to come earlier so he could use his needles on me."

"Needles?"

"He'll do some acupuncture on me. You know I won't take medications so this might help me."

"Sure."

"I'll be in the room, okay?"

"Okay, love." Henrik greeted Ville and I took him to our room.

"So, it's only stress or other things?"

"It's my depression. Probably because of the hormones as well, it's difficult to deal with it. Everything seems worse."

"Yeah, it happens, so I heard." I sat by the bed, Henrik asked me where it hurt as he pressed my ear. Everything, basically. He applied some needles.

"There you go. We can apply them again when you need."

"Thank you, Henrik."

"So, how is it going?"

"It's calmer now. She moves a lot, but I don't feel anything."

"That's good. You seemed tired, though."

"I am. My sleep is very bad since the beginning, which makes everything worse. But I'm handling it."

"You need a break, Eve."

"Soon enough. When she decides to go out to this world." I caressed my bump.

"Do you think it's hard because of what happened before? Think you're already six months pregnant, nothing can harm Charlotte now. I mean, there's no risk now, you're stable."

When Henrik said it, it made me feel very emotional and I started to cry. Maybe it was the effect of the needles already. "Yes, I'm always afraid something will happen to her. I'm not afraid of losing her anymore, but still I fear. I don't know why I have this feeling with me all the time."