Razorblade Romance (Ville Valo Fanfic)

81. Meet Me Where The Night Ends

Eve's POV

"I knew it was a mistake going to the party."

"How are you feeling?" Lee asked. I've just woke up. I knew it would be difficult to face Ville, but I never knew it would be that difficult. I had a panic attack and had to take some pills to sleep. That didn't happen in a while, and I thought I was getting better with time.

Time didn't mean a thing after seeing, talking to him. How could someone affected me like that?

"He called me. He wanted to know about you." Lee said a bit careful, not knowing if she should talk about him. But I wanted news from him, his health.

"Is he better? Did you tell him anything about me?"

"No, I didn't say anything about you. He said he was sick, some respiratory problems. Mige told me he has bronchitis."

Well, he was in good hands. I tried to remember what happened after I left the party. "Is Henrik home?"

"He left, went jogging. Said there is breakfast for us. Let's eat something, you should put something in your stomach."

"Thank you for not leaving me alone."

"How could I? You're my best ex roommate." Lee smiled kindly.

I was a bit confused from the medication. Images from the party simply popped up in my mind. Mia kissing Ville. And then he saying she's not his girlfriend. He looking deeply into my eyes, those emerald eyes that made me so lost, still. After a while, I felt like nothing changed. Hope he didn't realized it, but those eyes left me mesmerized every time. He had something in his gaze that was hypnotic, I couldn't look away, and that was in my mind all the time. I kept remembering every smile, every look he gave me last night.

The sound of his voice, after so many months was so painful. I stopped hearing his songs, I couldn't bear it. His simply "moi" to me was painful to hear, and his voice barely came out. Maybe he was uncomfortable for the situation with Mia. It was awkward to see him with someone else, but not as much as I thought, or maybe because I ignored his presence best I could. I missed all the guys, Leena, Natali and the baby girls, but of course, I only went to Mige's party because I wanted to see him. But I froze at the sight of him. I thought I would be stronger. Seeing Ville at my lecture was so weird and it got me worried, he was so skinny and fragile, I had to see him again.

Lee was serving us coffee. I saw some pancakes and reminded of Marie's.

"Sorry for the trouble last night." I said.

"If you promise not to run and hide yourself again, you're forgiven. You were freezing to death when me and Henrik found you. I know you can't control a panic attack, though."

I panicked when I felt Ville's touch, when he held my hand, when I got so close to him. He was toxic to me, now. I couldn't stand to be so near him, and that drove me crazy, I had to run away immediately. I went away without speaking to anyone, and without my coat, so desperate I was.

Seeing him sick made me feel so bad as well. I wanted to hold him, when he almost fell into my arms. Mige held him before he did. They put him into bed, he was burning in fever. I still cared for him the same way I've always did, that would never change, I guess.

When I was alone with him, I gently caressed his face, and I regretted doing it. It hurt so much.

"Eve, are you okay? Earth calling Eve."

"Sorry. I was thinking about last night."

"I couldn't imagine you would be so down, otherwise I wouldn't have insisted. Sorry for that. Everybody was rooting for you two. For at least talk to each other."