Razorblade Romance (Ville Valo Fanfic)

192.An Empire of Gentle Hate

"Eve? Can you hear me?"

It took me a while to realize where I was. First, I saw a fancy ceiling and heard a faint classical music in the background. Matthias was holding me with a worried face. I closed my eyes until everything stopped spinning.

"What happened?"

"You blackened out, darling." I recognize Maxim's voice, and the repulsion in my stomach almost made me vomit. But that would be almost impossible since I felt my stomach completely empty. Maybe I was too restricted about not eating anything around me, I couldn't remember the last time I ate.

"Can you get up?" Matthias asked me.

"I guess so." He helped me standing, the annoying heels didn't help me.

"Are you okay, sis? You don't look too well." Sascha was close, but gladly he didn't dare to get close enough. "Oh, just wait... Are you sick, like... Will we have good news in the family soon? Like a... Baby?"

"That wouldn't be bad." Maxim chuckled, and the bond between them over the joke made me so pissed off I almost threw a glass on them.

"You didn't eat, did you?" Matthias was checking my pulse, while he ignored both assholes." Maxim, Eve needs some assistance, it would be better to take her home."

"Absolutely not. You're a doctor, she has the best assistance already, so deal with it here." Matthias looked frustrated.

"It's fine, I'll get better soon."

"Try eating something, slowly." He gave me some orange juice, it was annoying my body betrayed me like that in such important moments. I struggled to remember what was going on, and for some reason Nikita's tedious face made me remember, Maxim was still holding Ville until this meeting was over.

"Let's get over this, quickly." I made an effort to sound better, I had an important matter to solve, after all.

"Well, if Eve is feeling better, we shall continue." Maxim said. The dizziness made me confused for a moment but I could feel the tension in the air. Maxim wasn't happy about Saschas's doing. "Helsinki is not your playground, and I'm sure you are stupid, but not that much to think no one would interfere."

"Yes, Helsinki is indeed my playground, not yours. You don't have a say in it."

"You're affecting all of us. You're giving a reason for police checks on everyone. You're affecting my business."

"Your business. Ask Matthias how your business gets affected."

I felt a cold on my spine. Sascha probably knew how Matthias intervened in the Orlov's business."What are you talking about?" Maxim looked back and forth at Matthias and Sascha. "Well, it doesn't matter. You're going to disappear from Helsinki if you want to stay alive. I'm just keeping your head in place because I respect your father a lot. He was a good man, but didn't teach you how to be a proper one."

"If you think I'll just step down like that, you're so wrong."

"You won't get out of here walking if you don't sign these documents. Interpret that the way you wish, but I stick to my word." Someone came and presented some files to Sascha. Beside him, two men and they were cleared armed. I got tense in my seat, Sascha knew he didn't have a way out, he was reading the papers.

"This is absurd. I won't sign these."

"It's your choice."

Sascha's face was red, his blood boiling. He was angered with whatever was written in those papers, and he didn't have much of a choice. "You will pay. All of you, will pay. Even you, little cousin. Well, you're not much of a cousin anymore, are you?"

Matthias didn't say a thing, but this part worried me. Was I included in his revenge? Would Ville be safe?

"We don't have all night. We have other matters to discuss." Maxim said, irritated. I was trying my best to pay attention to what was happening in my surroundings, but I felt light-headed. Sascha complained and made a show, threatening people around him, including me, but I couldn't care less. I only thought about how Ville was feeling right now, his disappointment at me. All I wanted was to cry and embrace my misery.

Sascha signed the papers, he was nervous and probably fearing for his life. He knew he didn't have a choice for now, and finally left. Not without kicking some chairs and breaking stuff around him, and with people holding him. I woke up to reality all of a sudden.

"What about Ville? Is Maxim still holding him?" I asked Matthias, who nodded. "Why?"

"Let's hear from him." Maxim was tasting some wines, as if nothing happened."Maxim." Matthias called him, but he didn't need to ask anything.

"Yeah, yeah, don't rush. We still need to talk."

"We don't need to extend the talk, just release Ville as you promised." Matthias said.

Maxim grabbed some other papers. "As you all know... my dear son Ilya couldn't be here with us today." I prepared for the worst, but I wasn't truly prepared. "And unfortunately... He's not with us anymore."

"What do you mean?" Matthias asked calmly. Nikita and Pavel blinked, looking surprised, but they knew. Cassandra also seemed tense, but of course, this wasn't news to her either.

"He... He didn't survive his injuries. Unfortunately, he passed away."

"Oh, dear lord." Cassandra reached to Maxim's hand. "When this happened? Why didn't you tell me?" She was such a good actress.

"I didn't want to ruin the wedding. You deserved the whole party only for yourself, my darling. But, we need some arrangements, and we need to do it now."

"What happened to him?" Nikita asked, as if he didn't know. Not a single tear shed for Ilya, I would even dare to say Pavel never looked so satisfied.

"As I said... He didn't survive his injuries. He got an infection, a bad one, everything was so fast." Maxim, for the first time, pretended to be sad. "It was all too sudden, I'm still sinking in."

"I'm so sorry, father." Nikita raised and gave the father a half hug. Pavel stood up to do the same. I turned to Matthias, I just knew, we were screwed.

"Anyway." Maxim picked the papers again. "Regarding all this, Eve, I need a small favour from you."

"What kind of favour?"

"We... We delayed Ilya's certificate death because of some other issues. We all will have trouble with the authorities if we don't have this paper signed soon."

"I don't know how can I help you."

"Well, I need you to sign this paper, as a certified legist, that you are, with this info here. I know Sascha provided you some documents before. This was Ilya's work. I know, I know he was wrong. He did that because he pretended he had a job for you in here, only to bring you here to Russia, to get back at Matthias. He wanted to have a hold of you as well. He was wrong, you don't get a woman like this. A man must have his manners, and I am sorry the way Ilya treated you. He has a bad fame, well, had, with women. And unfortunately, it was true. He was absolutely the worst. So I truly understand your motivations that led to my son's death."I shook under his words. This was something I tried to forget - the horror I felt near Ilya. My mind couldn't remember details, but I remembered the panic.
Maxim continued. "How ironic. Barely he knew the job he would get you, was to make you sign his own death certificate. I guess that's full circle."

"First, you have to stop speaking as if I was responsible for his death, I am not. And secondly, I can't sign it. You know very well I can't, I didn't examine the body."

"That's why I need a favour. You won't deny me that, will you? In such a big loss for me, such a difficult moment. I feel like we're family already."

"I'm sure you have other people to do that."

"Not in such short notice, no. I used to have someone of my trust, but... He had an... Accident."

"Can I see the body?"

"Why would you want that?"

"So I can make a report."

"This part won't be needed. You just need to sign it. But of course, I understand that if you don't want to, I won't force you to do anything."

"Of course you won't. Nothing will happen to Ville, who's outside, right? Cut to the chase, Maxim."

Maxim chuckled. "It's up to you, darling." He extended the paper to me. It was a veiled threat, of course, so I had no choice but to sign this damn paper. "It's also a favour to you, and Matthias."

"How's so?" Matthias asked.

"Well, you know... Ilya passed after you and Eve attacked him. I know it was self-defense, that's why I'm not angry at you. Ilya went after his own death, he got it. He should never tried to mess with Eve, but... That's not how the authorities would see it, we all know that."

"Should we thank you, then?" Matthias asked ironically. "So if Eve doesn't sign this damn paper, you will accuse us of killing Ilya?"

Maxim didn't answer, just shrugged. Coward.

"I don't mind, I'll sign this damn paper." Before I could sign it, Matthias took his time to read it. It was in Russian, so I didn't bother trying.

"You don't have to do this. We will find a way."

"Matthias, he has Ville. I'll sign this, I don't care. We can't go against him, you know that."

"Just think a bit, don't rush anything."

"I don't have to think about it. If I don't sign it, god knows what will he do to Ville. He thought about this, and if I have a chance to free Ville, whatever. I'll do it. Now, give me the paper."

Matthias reluctantly gave it to me. "Fair enough."

But before, I had to make sure. "Will you release Ville? In safety?"

"Of course, my dear. No one will touch a single hair. You have my word."

I signed the paper under Maxim's grin. He was truly satisfied, he had me in his hands now. Well, I didn't care. I gave up on my life already, I just had to be sure Ville would be okay.

"Will you release Ville now?"

Maxim looked at Cassandra, who wouldn't look at me. "I have one more request dear."

"What is it? Isn't this enough?"

"Here." He extended me another paper. "I also need you to sign this, and we are done."

I was incredulous when I read it.

It was a divorce file. Under my request, to Ville. Not only that, but it said I was also giving up the custody of my children.

"What is this? Is this a joke? Why, why are you doing that?"

"Dear Eve, you must understand that everything comes with a price." Maxim raised from his chair and sat in front of me, where Sascha previously was. "The life you had before... It's gone. And don't think this is a bad thing. I can assure you, you have my word, that no one will ever touch Ville nor Charlotte, or little Dylan."

Hearing this filth man talk about them just made me even more angry. I couldn't accept this - make my children believe I didn't love them. Well, I just did it to Ville, but in my core I had hope he would understand what was going on. Magically. At least, he was an adult, and possibly would heal. I felt ashamed for giving excuses for what I just did to him.

"I can't do this. You want to kill me? Then do it. Because this is about the same."

"Don't be silly." Cassandra intervened.

"Why are you ruining my life? What did I do to you?"

"You have killed my son and I'm giving you a very reasonable chance to live. How ungrateful that sounds?"

"I didn't kill your son."

"I just told-"

"I don't believe in a word you say! You're just using us as an escape goat. Why, who am I to you? I have no use in your business. Just let me go! You gave my word you would let me go back to Helsinki after this shitshow of a wedding would end."

Matthias held my arm, pulling me back to my seat. "Let me deal with this."

I realized I was screaming at the one of the most dangerous man on Earth. I thought I had nothing to lose, but he still had Ville in his hands. "He can't do this to me."

"We will fix this later. He still has Ville, waiting outside in a car."

I cried in anger and desperation. I didn't have hope anymore, that I would be able to fix anything. I just had to be sure Ville would be okay. Life gave me one more opportunity to see him for the last time, at least.

I'm so sorry, Ville. I'm sorry I couldn't run away to you this time, to your arms, the only place I would really feel safe. I'm sorry I broke your heart, I'm sorry I broke your dreams and hopes. I'm sorry for being your worst nightmare right now. You didn't deserve any of this, I'm sorry for the chaos.

"We can discuss this later, Eve is in no condition of deciding anything right now. She signed the damn paper already, this wasn't included in the deal. You gave your word!" Matthias tried reasoning with Maxim.

"Not signing this right now is a solution. Maybe just not the solution Eve would want for her husband."

"Don't fucking threat him."

Maxim gave a really loud laughter. He was laughing so hard his face was red. "Oh, Eve. You're really something, I'll give you that. Not many people have the guts to talk like that, I appreciate it. But what are you going to do?"

He was right, I was no one, I was nothing. He could kill me with the snap of his fingers - same with Ville. I couldn't stand this. If I had a chance of saving Ville, I had to do it before Maxim did something against him.

"You give your word you will never touch them? Not that your word is worth much, is it?"

"Ask Matthias, he knows. Nor me, nor my sons, will touch your family, ever. I even say this, we will protect them. Because you're family. You're important to Matthias, you matter to me as well. Sascha won't ever get close to them. I promise."

"I'll do it then." Before I could sign, Matthias grabbed the paper from me.

"No, let's talk about this. You and I can negotiate it." Matthias turned to Maxim.

"With all due respect, you have no business in this. This is Eve's matter. My deal is with her, not with you."

"He's right. If that's how I'll protect them, it's okay. I just... I need more than your word that you won't ever hurt them."

"What do you want, dear?"

"Let me talk to Ville myself. I'll handle him the paper. If you trust me to do it, then I'll believe in your word."

Maxim seemed confused. He was thoughtful and looked at his sons.

"It's a trick. Don't fall for that." Nikita said.

"What can I possible do? Run away with him? In here? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I guess it's fair. But no, I'm sorry. I just don't trust your acting skills. The way you're so unstable, shaking and all, I doubt you can say anything believable to him right now."

"I can do it. Just let me see him one last time. I promise you I'll convince him."

"I can't. It's too risky, my darling. It's your last chance, sign it and trust my word. That's the only option you have."

"Please. Have a little mercy."

"I am merciful, my dear. I'll let you watch him from afar, as he receive the divorce paper. That should be enough."

"Is that you being merciful, asshole?"

Maxim chuckled again. "You're right, I guess it will hurt. Well, it's up to you. But come on, we don't have all the time in the world. Make your decision."

Matthias was still holding the paper. I just extended my hand so he would give it back to me, but he resisted. "It is fine."

"No, it's not."

"Please. I just want to end this fast." He reluctantly gave me the damn paper. I signed my death sentence, the end of the line. There was no turning back from this, ever.

My children would hate me forever, just as Ville. Hate is easy. I would leave them heartbroken, believing they were abandoned by me because I wanted, that feeling would carry on for the rest of their lives. I would scar them forever. I was naïve to believe I could solve all the problems by myself, thinking I was just saving them. I went down this wrong path believing I was doing my best. Or maybe this was the best I could do for them, so they would have a chance to live a normal life, safely. Away from me.

I gave the paper to Maxim, who look pretty satisfied, while I was completely shattered. He handled it to another person. "I will release his car now. Like I said, you can watch him from afar one last time." Maxim then left, followed by Nikita and Pavel.

"I can go and see if he's leaving this place safely. You can stay here." Matthias said.

"Please. I can't go. I can't see him receiving this paper, I can't."

"I'll stay with her." Cassandra said and my blood boiled.

"You can disappear from Earth for all I know. You did this. You are responsible, you got what you wanted."

"I wouldn't-"

"Don't deny it. You're wicked, a terrible, disgusting person."

"What's the matter?" Matthias stood between us. "What is she talking about? Do you have anything to do with this?" Matthias asked Cassandra.

"Of course not! You know well Maxim does whatever he wants."

"Your mother wanted me to marry you. Again, with this nonsense bullshit. This is her doing, Maxim is only doing that to please her. Now, don't tell me Ville here was a coincidence. It worked so well, right? You planned all."

"You can think whatever you want, but I'm not going to stay here to listen." Cassandra got up and finally left us.

"We will talk about it later. Now, I'll go check on Ville. Can you stay put in here?"

"If you're afraid I'll go outside and make a scene, don't worry. I'll stay here until you come back and tell me Ville left in safety."

"I'll be right back."

Of course I didn't stay on my own, I had two bodyguards babysitting me. I felt sick, my head was exploding, this was a nightmare. I couldn't stand this anymore, it needed to end. As much as it hurts, maybe it would be better if I was erased from their lives. No, I couldn't accept that. I would fight for them, always. And then, a man takes them away from me just because he wants? No, I didn't care he was a dangerous man, I needed to fight. I needed to think straight and not let my emotions decide for me. I calmed myself down, I could cry later.

I waited in the room for about half hour, until Matthias came back. He sat by my side, checking if I had eaten the food. He had my coat in his hand, which I hoped to be a good sign that we were leaving soon. "He was released. I don't know more, if he stays here in Russia and leaves in the morning back to Helsinki, I'll try finding out about it."

"Did you see he reading the paper?"

"I was too far away."

"You can be honest with me. Did you?"

I could see Matthias hesitancy. "No. I just saw the car leaving."

"Can I leave now? Please."

"Yes, we finished for today. There's another exit, we won't be seen, you don't have to talk to anyone else."

We walked around the place, I was light-headed still, but tried to pay attention to my surroundings. Gladly, we didn't have any surprise on our way to the car.The ride back was silent. I felt tired and closed my eyes in the darkness, but couldn't rest. All I could see in my mind was the image of Ville receiving the paper, and the shock of its content, as if it wasn't enough what he saw tonight.

The mansion was empty, since the others were still in the party. I went straight to the room, followed by Matthias.

"I think you need to rest, we can talk about what happened tomorrow."

"You really did not know about Ville coming?"

"I already told you I didn't."

"And clearly, Olga lied to you. She brought Ville to that damned wedding on purpose, so Maxim could blackmail me."

"She didn't lie-"

"How do you know? She's evil, bringing Ville to the enemy's nest like that, involving him into this world!"

"He's already involved."

"No, he could have stayed there in Helsinki, safely."

"Do you really believe he was safe in Helsinki? At least now, you have a deal that will keep him and your family safe, hopefully."

I scoffed. "So you think the deal was actually good?"

"No, I'm just saying that... It was a bad way to put it, but in practice, you could help them, for real. Maxim does fulfil his word, he won't touch them. How would you assure that, if it wasn't through a deal?"

"No, this is just you trying to manipulate me into thinking it was a nice thing. Then, what's next? I divorce Ville and I'm free to marry... You? Like your mother wanted? Maxim has no use for me, I don't matter to him, but your mother never gave up on getting a new toy for her son. That's how you all play in this world, isn't it? Next step you all get me into thinking marrying you is not a bad idea. That it's my only way to survive."

"You really believe in that?"

"I don't believe in coincidences. Olga, your mother, everyone plotted so tonight would be perfectly arranged."

"And you think I'm involved in this plan. That doesn't even make sense, Olga wouldn't want me to marry you."

"I... I don't know a thing anymore. Maybe she was promised another thing, she was played by your mother, I don't know shit about this world, I just know it's fucked up."

I laid on the bed, without bothering removing my shoes nor the fancy dress. I was exhausted, just wanted some peace for now. Matthias didn't say a thing, he left the room so I could finally cry for the whole night, not remembering when I fell asleep.

In the morning, I woke up with the weak sunlight coming through the window. Then, I realized it wasn't a nightmare, it really happened.

I felt a discomfort, because I was still wearing the stupid dress. I was covered in a blanket, the shoes were standing next to the bed. I guessed that was Matthias' work, I reached to see the couch, he wasn't there, but there was breakfast on the table already.

I was a chaos when I checked myself in the bathroom mirror. Dry, melted make up, the hair full of spray and messy, the bags under the eyes from crying violently.

After having a shower, I managed to eat something, but everything seemed tasteless. As if life didn't make any sense anymore. Why eat, why breath? There wasn't any pleasure left in living.I heard some noise outside and went to check in the window. Maxim and Cassandra were leaving in a car - they had some luggage. Honeymoon trip? I couldn't care less.

The door opened, gladly it was Matthias, who didn't have a happy face. "You woke up."

"Are they leaving for honeymoon?"

"Sorta. They will be back soon, in three days."

Matthias seemed weird, quieter, not smiling. "Did something happen? Something to worry about? Do you have any news on Ville?"

"As far as I know, he is fine. If you need anything, I'll be in the library."

"Are you busy with something?"

"Not exactly."

"Why are you... Weird?"

"Weird, how?"

"I don't know."

"I'll leave you for now." He closed the door and left, abruptly. Yeah, of course. I was so angry and full of despair last night, I said bad things. He didn't deserve that. But I was really furious at everything, at everyone, even at him. It felt like everyone was plotting against me.

I just couldn't believe Ville was at the wedding and what happened. I wonder how he was feeling about me right now. He probably hated me, with many reasons to. I couldn't blame him at all. I just hoped one day he would forgive me, somehow. Maybe he would let me explain it, he and the kids. I was uneasy, thinking he had Olga by his side, was he really safe? Could I trust Maxim's word for real?

It was a horrible evening. I couldn't even feel joy for seeing Ville again, after such a long time. I couldn't talk to him, couldn't tell him the truth, I only brought misery to him with our encounter.

I didn't leave the room. It was good to stay quiet, not listening to Maxim's voice nor having to see anyone else. I stayed quiet and sang Ville's songs in my head. I missed waking up hearing him humming something in my ear, how he would giggle when I would say how much I loved his voice. Even his yawn sounded amazing, he would say I was being a clown. But it was true. All little details about him would make me forget about the rest of the world, until of course Charlie came giggling, knocking at the door. The dreadful feeling I would never see them again, took over.

I cried again to think about her and Dylan. How unlucky to be my children. I hoped one day they could forgive me. Maybe Ville would find someone and marry again, and then they would have a new mother, and would forget about me. Dylan would even forget my face, it would be easier for him. The thought hurt me so much I cried until I almost threw up.

Someone knocked and it was just an employee, offering me dinner. I didn't say a thing, she only removed the breakfast tray and left me more food. I didn't feel like eating, maybe this way I could drop dead soon.

Matthias came in right shortly. I could feel his weight in the bed, sitting next to me. "You need to eat something."

"I don't want to."

"Nikita and Pavel are probably sleeping, so we can talk better now." I struggled to turn around and look at him. I saw him flinching when he looked at me. Maybe I looked disgusting after crying so much.

"Talk about what?"

"I know things don't look well right now. But I need you to take care of yourself. Please, make an effort to eat."

"I said I don't want to."

"I know you don't want to, but you have to. I need you to be able to stand on your feet, and not passing out again. I know it's hard... Actually, I don't have a clue how hard it is for you. I just know it's a lot."

"Do you want to know how hard it is? It's so hard, so painful, I want to rip off my heart from my chest, with my bare hands. It hurts so much, I'd rather die, and I mean it. There's no reason for me to live like this anymore. I just want this suffering to end." I gasped, I wasn't being dramatic. I never felt so miserable before. We always have something to lose in life, but I had the biggest treasure life gave me, and to live away from them like this, was unbearable. "So, eating is the least of my problems right now, I can't go live and pretend nothing happened last night, it was one of the worst ever, I don't care if-"

"I care." Matthias held me so I would look at him. I could barely see him at first so many tears I had in my eyes. He gave me a minute to breath. "Listen. We will have busy days ahead."

"Busy? Busy how?"

He got closer, to whisper a little of hope. "I'll put an end to this. It's enough, you'll get your freedom but I need you to be strong. Can you do this for me? I swear to you, you will have your life back. But I really need you to fight. Just a bit more, Eve. It looks really bad, but I promise you, this is going to end sooner than you think."

"I just don't see how. How to survive this?"

"Maxim and Cassandra went to Paris. Nikita and Pavel, they want to eliminate me from their path just like they did to Ilya. You're here with me, so you're in danger as well. We need to act."

"And how can we fight against them?"

"I have two people I trust in here. They don't know that of course. The cooker worked for my family and she's loyal to me. She just came here to bring you food, I hope you paid attention to her face. Her name is Darya. We can trust her with it, that they won't poison your food. Still, we need to be careful."

"And who's the second person?"

"One of Nikita's bodyguard."

"Since when they are here?"

"Since always. Look, we need to survive for these three days. Then, we will find a way to go back to Helsinki. I don't think Maxim has any interest in killing me. But these two, we need to be careful."

"But even if I go back, I can't get close to Ville nor the kids. You've read that document."

"Forget about that stupid paper. That was nothing more than Maxim playing with you. Even if Ville signed it, things don't work like that. I know we are talking about Maxim and he can get anything he wants, but he was just torturing you because he can. Like he said, to his eyes, we killed his son. He wants you to pay."

"We didn't kill anyone."

"I know, but maybe he really believes in that. And even if he doesn't have a plan for you just yet, he will have soon."

"Just tell me the whole plan, I'm tired of being a pawn."

"You're not a pawn."

"That's how I feel in this game. Between Maxim, Sascha, your mother."

"I already told you, I'll get you out of it. It's because of me you are here."

"It wasn't your fault. It was all consequence of my choices."

"Anyway, you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me, I should've known better. Now, would you please eat something? Things might get ugly soon enough. You don't want me to carry you around like an useless princess, do you?"

"Fine. I can try. I really don't need anyone carrying me around."

"That's more like you, kitten." Matthias smiled, and there was something different about his bright green eyes. He quickly looked away, though. I could swear he got a bit emotional with all my pain, but maybe that would be too much. He was probably just tired of babysitting me.

We went to table and I made an effort to eat. My stomach hurt, I was still trying to calm down. Matthias didn't say a word, he had an apple but I could tell he was paying attention if I was eating. His presence made me calmer, somehow. He had an assurance that was contagious. Maybe because many times, in hopeless moments, he had faith in me and that we would solve things together. We were a good team, since the beginning. In this darkness, he was a guiding light, and I was tremendously unfair to him.

"I really need to apologize for last night. I accused you of being evil like everyone else here."

"It's fine. I tried not taking it too personally, you were very infuriated."

"When we are bleeding, the sharks smell it and come to hurt us even more. That's how I feel, like I'm surrounded by all types of vicious predators, all the time. But you're not one of them, I know that. I overreacted."

"You didn't. I mean, to be honest, I was a bit upset when I heard that." Matthias chuckled. "But I understand."

"I wasn't thinking, I was just too saddened and you were there to take the fall."

"I'm happy to obliged." He smiled, and my humour even shifted a bit.

"So, tell me. Did you see Ville's reaction? Please, tell me the truth."Matthias swallowed his apple, thinking if he should tell me.

"Barely. I was very far, and everything was kinda fast. Someone gave him the papers, he took his time, and the person went back to pick it. He probably signed it because he knew he didn't have a choice. Just like you. I'm trusting he's smart enough to realize you were forced to do such a thing."

"After what he saw? I can only hope for it, but would be asking too much of him. Not that he is not smart. Well, he can be pretty blind when emotional. And he's very much."

"Well, it's tough, especially regarding you."

"What do you mean?"

Matthias smiled while chewing. "It's... I used to think you and Ville were the most unlucky couple in the world. After everything that happened, and I guess I don't even know everything. I just know what's in that book, or what I've read in the newspapers."

"Yeah, our lives are... Eventful, to say the least."

"But you always had each other. It wasn't a lonely fight, and that's admirable. So I don't think you were that unlucky. I'm sure he will see through it."

I could see now, Matthias was lonely. He had Viktor, but I guess it was different. I still didn't know how was his relationship with Olga, but he had his own battles to fight. He wasn't wrong - despite our long path of misery, Ville was always by my side to fight for us.

"I guess you're right. And what after? Did you see anything else, did something happen? Don't hide anything from me, please. There's no need to spare me."

Matthias seemed thoughtful, but shook his head. "Nothing else happened. They just left in the car, I watched until the car disappeared."

We stayed in silence a bit, but I had to address the elephant in the room. "I... I am also sorry for... You know, that I used you in my reckless plan."

"Used? Oh, you mean the kiss."

"Yeah. Sorry about that." Yesterday, before the wedding, Matthias were more opened and warm about his feelings. I didn't want him to think I was taking advantage of it or playing with them. "I was just desperate, I didn't think. I didn't know what else to do, how to communicate to Ville he couldn't be there."

"I know that. And as much as I wanted to break my promise, I didn't want it to be that way." Matthias chuckled, but didn't look me in the eye. "It wasn't how I expected."

"Sorry for ruining your plans."

"It was really bad, actually." I thought there was humour behind it, that he was about to make a joke, but when he lifted his eyes, I saw he meant it. "At first, I was even a bit mad at you. Because by now, you know how I feel, don't you? And yet, your move made me feel... Yeah, maybe a bit used by you. But worry not, this feeling didn't last long. Did I enjoy the ride? No, I didn't. Because I could feel... I could feel your suffering. I felt your pain on my lips, and that was a really bitter taste."

That struck me a bit, at the same time it made me emotional. Matthias sounded very emotional, hurt, even. It was a truly horrible thing I did, for everyone, out of desperation. Sascha's presence, everything surrounding us actually, Ville just didn't belong to that world. Neither did I. But I was lucky to have Matthias by my side. Ville had Olga... If she was trustable. It made me nervous to think they were acting together, what was she telling him? Was she helping Maxim and Cassandra? What was her deal?Everything was wrong, but the kindness Matthias always showed towards me was... Comforting. He reached to wipe a tear that fell on my face. I avoided saying anything, because I was about to break.

"It was a horrible evening, I'm sorry you had to go through it, but there was a lot of acting, just like you did. So, everything right now is unpredictable, meaning we can change what happened. Nothing that can't be fixed." He held my face, with reassuring eyes. I trusted his eyes a lot, they were always sincere.

"I hope you are right."

"I know it's a lot to ask to trust on a man like me, but... I keep my word. We will fix this mess."

"A man like you?"

"You know what I mean."

"I don't."

Matthias sighed, and then smirked at me. "Would you trust a man involved in my business? You shouldn't."

"Maybe not, but I don't see you like this. I just see a friend, a gentle and a nice man. That's what you are to me. And I trust you."

"I'm glad."

"I hope you know that... I'm aware of your feelings. And I don't take that for granted. Thank you for staying by my side. I guess you could drop me anytime, would be easier on you, but you didn't abandon me. I'm very grateful for that."

"I won't abandon you, kitten." Matthias smiled, and I knew he meant it. It was admirable he wasn't afraid to show me his feelings, but it was bit scared for me. I didn't know how to deal with them.

But now, to the worrying part. Nikita and Pavel. "As much as I'm suffering, I don't want to die by their hands. I didn't survive whatever came before, to die like this. If I'm going to hell, then at least I'm dragging them along."

"For sure. We can just skip the part where you die. I'm not sure about their intentions or if they are capable of doing it. But we need to be careful."

"Pavel seems so uninteresting about life and everything in general. Do you think they really want to take over their father's empire?"

"I don't know their motivations. I just know they didn't like Ilya, they really hated themselves. Mostly because of Ilya's vicious manners, but not that they are nice people. And don't underestimate people and power, they are always hungry for more, even if they don't show it. People like them don't like changing the status quo. They were spoiled since they were born, used to a comfortable life of being feared. They will want to keep it that way. And they might know this would change with me in charge. They just don't trust me and that's enough reason."

"Do you think... They will attack us before Maxim and Cassandra comes back?"

"It would be easier. Cassandra would kill them first if they touch us. Maxim, I'm not sure what would he do."