The young doctors.

There's no winning on Chrismas!

~(episode 09: The Man in the Fallout Shelter)~

The Christmas season is upon us, and I was with my two boys in Zacks lab looking at his failed robot.
"So why are we looking at this?" I asked from my chair as we watched the robot walk across the empty examination table.
"Because he wanted to show us. And you have trouble saying no to him." Jack stated.
"She doesn't have trouble saying no to me."
"No I do. Don't ask I won't answer. Snitches end up in ditches."
"Stop." Zack told the robot making it do a somersault.
"Impressive Bone boy."
"Stop!" He told as it completed it and returned to its feet.
'Pretty cute for something that's going to take over the world one day.'
"Turn." He told making it stop, causing Jack to laugh.
"Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn, it stops. You tell it to stop, it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage, it watches reruns of Firefly." Jack told as he gave him a pat on the shoulder.
"Oh no. The robot doesn't work. Stop working on it or else it will destroy the world one day." I stated only for Zack to shake his head at me.
"After I fix the voice recognition protocols, this is going to blow those Gomers at M.I.T. away."
"Dude who cares what those Gomers think. Fuck 'Em honestly." I told as Jack walked over to the drink he's working on.
"Ash you just say that, because your already have four doctorates and your younger then me by a few months."
"Do not tell me he also knows your birthday."
"I just know it's after August."
"I was way off."
"Dude thought I was born in April." I told as Jack picked the glass container with some liquid in it.
"Hey, we've got about half a liter of pure alcohol here. Dump it in the eggnog, and we've got the best Christmas party in history." He told as he poured it into the beaker.
"I thought we weren't going to the party. All the people being touchy touchy."
"You can stay close to me if that helps." Zack told as he looked over his robot.
"Fine. But I swear to the lord Hades, I will stab a bitch if you two leave me at any point in time."
"Deal." They both told.
"And I call you two my best friends."
"You mostly call us your boys." Zack stated.
"Your both let's be real." I told making them nod.
'Wouldn't trade them for the world.'

I was sitting across from Zack watching him examine a skeleton as he looked closely at the femur.
"You good there Ash?"
"Never better Zackie." I told making him look up at me quickly trying to hide the smile on his face.
As on que Jack hand appeared near him waving a mug in our faces.
"I brought an eggnog." He told making Zack stand.
"I can't drink while I work. Besides I usually have to help deal Rio with our drunken friends, and it's better done when I haven't had anything to drink." He stated
"Good thing I didn't bring it for you." He told making me roll my eyes as I smiled.
"I thought robots couldn't drink or it would fuck their system up?" I joked making Jack chuckle.
"She's got a point." He added pointing towards me.
"Dude how do you drink that stuff?"
"How could you not like it?" He argued back.
"Because I prefer beer. Like a normal person."
"Your friends with him." He told pointing to Zack.
"And he drinks beer. How could I not?"
"Crystal in Accounting is after you, isn't she?" Zack asked making me laugh.
"Like Alien after Predator." He told before turning to the robot. "Sit!"
The robot started to run across the table making Jack laugh till it ran off the table.
'He is definitely going to be one of the reasons we all die from robots.'

We were walking across one of the catwalks on the upper level following after Jack who decided he was the one to carry the beaker of alcohol. We were probably half way across the platform when Temperance shouted up to us.
"Is that pure alcohol?" She asked making us look towards her and try to think of something when Zack spoke.
"Yes, Dr. Brennan." He told making Jack give him a dirty look and I went into what the hell dude position, or as Shotgun would call it.
"Da fuck dude?"
"You really think Goodman's gonna let you spike the eggnog after the Fourth of July fiasco?" She asked making Jack let out a sigh before turning to look at us.
"We may have to rethink."
"We get Angie to distract him and spike it?" I suggested.
"He will know something is up." Zack told
"Well then I don't know." I told before Temperance spoke up again.
"Zack, I need you to clean these bones."
"Now?" He asked as Jack laughed.
"Burnt." He told before starting to walk off until Temperance also stopped him.
"And I need you to search the clothing for insect evidence."
"Burnt Jack. Suck shit you got sucked in."
"How do you come up with sayings like that?"
"I've been around a lot of people before coming here. Duh."
"Geez, Bones. Merry Christmas." Seeley told
"What up Agent!"
"Hey Ash."
"Still can't call me Ash."
"Will I ever be able to?"
"Wouldn't count on it." I told before Angie came in and began to talk.
"Okay, you people listen to me. There is a party going on upstairs, okay? A Christmas party. We're going up there. We're gonna talk to some people, we're gonna sing some carols, we're gonna drink some eggnog. You are going to kiss me under the mistletoe. On the lips." She told pointing to Seeley before turning to me and the boys. "I might kiss you guys under the mistletoe, too."
I began to raise my hand and held a slightly confused look till she broke it.
"On the cheek for you sweetie don't worry."
"Cool cool. Just had to make sure." I told before she turned to Temperance.
"Maybe even you. In a festive, non-lesbian manner. But we are going to that party."
"You still upset of what you did last year?"
"You don't like party's and she didn't come."
"Dude invite Edith and Peter, they would love to party with you." I stated.
"I always do, they can never get here on time."
'Weird people I call friends and family.'

We were standing over the body in Zacks Lab and Zack handed me a mask, before putting one on himself.
"Put on a mask. I'm gonna take a couple core samples." He told as I put it on properly.
"Sure not yet doctor."
"Okay." Jack told as he holds it over his mouth and I moved over so I didn't get in Zacks way.
As Zack was working away I saw Jack pull his mask away from his face so he could drink his eggnog. I gave his arm a whack making him give me a confused look.
"Put the mask on dumb ass."
"It's fine." He told making me roll my eyes at him.
Soon a loud alarm began to go off throughout the lab making the three of us rush to get into the decontamination shower and ended with us fighting to get in.
"Zack!" Jack exclaimed as we all managed to get into the shower.
"I swear to the Lord Hades I will punch you both in the throat and then gouge your eyes out with spoons if you look at me when we get undressed." I told making them both nod.
"Understandable." They both told.
'Fuck my life.'

We began to make our way to where the others were in towels. With Jack showing off, Zack using a second towel over his shoulders, while I had the most with one around my body, another to help cover my arms and back/chest that's not covered by the first and then another one for my hair.
"Jack if this is all your fault I'm going to cut you."
"No you won't. You like me too much."
"Stupid friendship."
"What- what is? Seeley asked the rest of the team as we entered.
"Uh, we might know." Jack told making them all look towards us.
"I cut into the fallout shelter bones and the biohazard alarm went off."
"Why am I not surprised Ash still found a way to cover her arms?" Seeley asked
"I wouldn't call me Ash while I'm pissed off Seeley."
"Were you conforming to autopsy protocol?" Goodman asked
"One of us was."
"I was also following protocol. I will add." I told nudging Zack.
"The other was... drinking an eggnog." Jack exclaimed
"And you didn't have your mask on. Oh..." Goodman told as he realised what this meant.
"Let me just say this. THERES NO WINNING ON CHRISTMAS!" I exclaimed.
"Is she ok?" Seeley asked
"Well it's Ash, and there's a chance you might see why she hides her arms and legs." Angie explained.
"The loud alarm doesn't help."
"Loud day?" They all asked.
"No. It just pisses me off, especially when someone fucken yells in your ear." I told looking towards Jack.
"Ash I will fight you."
"I'll break your arm." I told making Zack pick me up and move me to the other side of him so he was now separating the two of us.
'Merry fucken Christmas.'