F1 Imagines

(P) Max Verstappen (15)

pointless
/ˈpɔɪntləs/
adjective
having little or no sense, use, or purpose.

"It's pointless loving you."

I look at the picture for what feels like the 100th time tonight, finding it difficult to process what I was seeing. Max with his left hand in another girls hair, his right hand gripping her waist tightly. His eyes closed and his lips on hers in a passionate kiss in the darkness of a nightclub.

I quickly wipe my tear away, not wanting to continue crying about someone who doesn't love me anymore. Why love someone and put all your effort into them when they couldn't and wouldn't care if you were dead in a ditch. I am feeling so many emotions all at once, some even weird ones to be feeling at this current moment.

Anger, knowing the man I have spent 3 years with is sucking faces with a random model. Angry that I am loyal to someone who can't be loyal back. Angry at myself for loving a man who clearly doesn't love me back. Angry at the fact that I left my family, my childhood home, my friends for a man who does something as rife as this.

Sadness, knowing that the man I love doesn't love me anymore, knowing he is better off with a model than a qualified doctor. Sad that all these years I have spent my life thinking Max loves me when he doesn't. Sad that my life has been flipped upside down because of a stupid little kiss in a nightclub.

But the weirdest emotion I currently feel is happiness and relief. Why? Because I know that I can leave without hurting him. Max deserves the world and everything around it, the whole fucking galaxy. He has worked hard and will continue working hard. I don't want to leave someone who loves me, but I don't have to worry because he clearly doesn't.

I'm also happy and relieved knowing that I can live knowing I'm not being lied too from here onwards. I know that I can move on, not leaving anything behind because Max doesn't love me. I'm happy I can go home and find comfort in my close friends and beloved family members. It's not that Max kept me trapped or was a terrible boyfriend, it's just I know that I'm not hurting anyone because he doesn't love me.

I get up and start packing my bags straight away. I needed to get out of here knowing that I would turn into a monster when he comes back home, if he comes back home. Why come back to someone you don't love? That's what fascinates me. Why lie? Why be in a relationship when you can date ANY girl you want?

I shake my head, ridding these thoughts out of my mind. I zip up my suite case and change into the clothes I left out, getting Max's hoodie off of my body and packing it away. I walk to the desk, pulling out a pen and a notepad that was out but nothing seems to move. What do I write? Why should I write anything to him? He should know what he has done. I mean, for god sakes, did he really think he could get away with this.

I throw the pen and papers across the room, littering the floor with papers with nothing on them, all except for one. I didn't see it before, it was all the way at the back of the notepad. I stand up and look at it, seeing some words written on it. "I love you, Y/N. You are my life and I hope we can live like this for the rest of our lives but together. Will you marry me?" I read out. This time, I don't stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks.

He was going to propose whilst cheating on me? What a fucking dog. I crumple up the paper and toss it to the side. I quickly grab my suitecase and make my way to the door, but not quick enough. As I'm about to open the door, the door opens to show Max. Max has a big smile on his face but it disappears when he sees my tear stained cheeks and suitecase in hand.

"Princess, what's going on?" He asks walking inside and closing the door. "What's going on? Who the fuck do you think you are?" I question, turning into the monster I was afraid of. "What? I really don't know, hun. Please lets talk.' He says walking towards me. I push him away, "It's pointless loving you." I answer, which takes him back. "Why should I love a dirty cheater like yourself?" I ask more to myself.

"Baby, I don't know what you saw but I didn't cheat on you." A laugh escapes my lips. "There are pictures, Max! You're a fucking celebrity, remember! What a fucking joke?" I say as I push past him. "No, you're not leaving. Show me these pictures." He says sternly as he grabs my wrist. The audacity of this man. I pull out my phone, a smug smile on my lips. "How are you gonna explain this, huh?" I ask cockily as I show him the picture.

He looks at it before chuckling. I'm about to ask him what's so funny, but he answers me before I can, "Babes, this picture is from years ago." He says. I laugh again, "And you expect me to believe that?" I ask. I feel hot fresh tears stream down my cheeks. "Oh hun, yes it's from my early days at RedBull. See, I don't have this little beard you call pubic hair on my face." He says pointing at the picture.

I hadn't notice that before, rage filling me and clouding my thoughts. As I looked at it more, the more I could see how it really was a young Max. I close my eyes, I feel like such a twat. I treated this man, who does love me, like an idiot when he did nothing wrong. "I'm so sorry." I say as I look up at him. I hug him tightly, crying into his shoulder. "It's okay, hun. It's okay. I understand." He soothes me but it does nothing.

"I am so fucking sorry." I say over and over again. "Y/N, look at me. It's okay! I know what it's like to worry about someone you love cheating on me. There's pictures of you with ex boyfriends and it stresses me out, but I never asked you because I always double check with your ex's. They have a lot of respect for you." He says with a chuckle. I roll my eyes, "That's surprising." I say as I wipe my own tears away.

"I'm still sorry though. I shouldn't have expected the worst. I should've asked." I say but he shakes his head, "Don't worry about it. It's really okay because I get it." He says as he leans down and presses a kiss to my lips. "Okay so I didn't wanna do this now, but I know this is the perfect time to do it." He says as he sighs. "You're gonna promise aren't you?" I ask as he looks at me.

"How did you know?" He asks as I chuckle. "I love you, Y/N. You are my life and I hope we can live like this for the rest of our lives but together. Will you marry me?" I say as he chuckles. "Damn, I should've thrown that paper away." He says as he walks to the kitchen. He grabs the ring out from one of the draws and pulls it out, "So is that a yes?" He asks as I chuckle. "Yes!" I exclaim as I tackle him in a tight hug. He slips the ring on before pressing his lips to mine. "The future Mrs Verstappen." He says as I smile. "The future Mr and Mrs Verstappen." I say as I caress his cheek.

*****

OMG I HATE THISSSSS. Sorry y'all it's so bad. I just suck at the moment omg. Anyway, stay safe lovies xx