F1 Imagines

Alex Albon (3)

change
/tʃeɪn(d)ʒ/
verb
make or become different.

Y/N - your name

I wake up feeling tears streaming down my cheeks and my breathing heavy. I sigh as I rub my eyes and turn on my bedside lamp in my hotel room. I stand up and walk to the bathroom, switching on the light before hand, and turning the tap on. I splash my face with ice cold water and sake a gulp or two of water as I pull away and stare at my dull, puffy eyes and my quivering lip.

I look down as I feel the tears threatening to fall out my eyes as I remember my friend, Gabriella, who passed away about a month ago. It was sudden as non of us knew that she had cancer, especially me as she didn't want e coming home and not focusing on racing. She also didn't want to tell anyone in fear that we treat her differently. When I heard of her passing, I was racing alongside my Red Bull partner and boyfriend, Alex Albon, in Austria.

I decided to not tell Alex as I wanted him to focus on his racing and not worry about how I'm doing with the passing of a close friend. In truth, I was struggling. Gabriella and I knew each other from birth and have gone through so much with each other. She was always at my carting races and cheered me on. She always supported me with my choices and was truthful with me when I made a bad choice.

I sigh, letting the tears fall freely. "I miss you, Gab." I say to no one but to Gabriella's spirit. I wipe my eyes and walk back to my bed. It's empty as myself and Alex weren't allowed to sleep in the same room, Christians orders. I grab my phone as I throw myself onto the plush mattress and look at the time to see that it is 2am. Great, another sleepless night ahead of me. I put my phone down as I try and fall back to sleep, with no success until I hear the birds chirping outside.

My alarm goes off as I let out a loud groan, knowing this qualifying session today was gonna be a nightmare. I get up and start getting ready until I hear a knock on the door. I get up from doing my hair and open the door to a smiling Alex. I don't return the smile as i know that if I try, I might just burst into tears. "Morning beautiful." He says as he kisses my cheek. "Morning babe." I say as I walk back to the dressing table.

"Are you alright? It looks like you were bitten by a zombie at some point through the night." He says with a light giggle as I shrug, not answering as I unplug the hair drier. "Are you okay?" He questions again as I close my eyes tight, not wanting to cry. "Babe." He says sternly as I turn around and glare at him, "I'm fine! Please just stop asking!" I shout as I turn around and storm to my bathroom.

Before I'm able to slam the door shut, Alex grabs the door and towers over me with an obvious frown plastered on his face. "What is your problem lately? You are so angry! God Y/N, you've changed." He states as my frown disappears and is replaced with sorrow filled eyes. "What happened to my old girlfriend? Was it my fault?" He questions as I shake my head and look down, feeling the tears prick my eyes again. "Then what is it?" He questions as I feel his large hands grip my shoulders.

I stay quiet, not wanting to make him worry about me before qualifying. "You know what, I think I'm just gonna leave. I'll see you on the track." He says, disappointment lacing his voice. I look up and try and say something but nothing comes out. Alex walks away and slams the hotel door as I drop my head and allow the tears to stream down my face.

-

I arrive at the track with bloodshot eyes and a running nose, making it almost look like I was very ill but I was just broken hearted. I walk into the garage as everyone stared at me, confused as to why I looked the way I did. I'm pulled aside by a concerned Christian, "Are you alright, Y/N?" He asks as I stare past him but at nothing. "Y/N?" He questions again as I finally look at him.

"Honestly, Christian, no I'm not okay but..." I trail off, not really knowing how to defend myself and tell him I was okay. "Can you race?" He asks as I nod my head, "Okay, great. After the race, we will have a chat so we can get through whatever you're going through together." He says with a sympathetic smile as I give him a small smile back. "Thank you." My voice breaks as he pulls me into a tight hug.

He pulls away as he gives me once last smile and walks away to look at data. I walk to my backroom and change into my racing gear, getting ready for P3 and then Qualifying. As I'm tying my shoes, a soft knock is heard from my door. "Come in." I say softly as I look back at my shoes and finish them. When I look back up, a sad looking Alex is stood in my room.

"Hey." He says softly as I give him a small smile. He walks to me and sits next to me and places a hand on my knee. "Babe, I need you to talk to me." He says as I look into his chocolate and concerned filled eyes. "I'm alright." I defend myself but he shakes his head, "You're not and that's okay! But in order for you to get better, you need to talk to me. Something is making you sad and I need to know what that is so I can help my girlfriend." He finishes as I feel tears threatening to fall once again today.

"I don't want to distract you Alex." "You not telling me is distracting me because I feel like it's my fault." He says as I stare at him and nod, "My best friend, Gabriella, passed away a month ago." I say, taking in a breath once I finished my sentence and looked back at Alex, "I loved her so much, Alex and now she's just gone! I can't see her ever again! She was always there for me but I couldn't be there for her clearly when she needed me most! She had cancer and never told me for my careers sake!" I shout, feeling warm tears fall onto my cheeks.

Alex wraps his arms around me and pulls me into a tight hug, "I miss her so much." I sob into his chest as he rubs my back. "Shhh, it's okay. It's okay." He soothes me. "H-how is it ok-kay? She's not here anymore because of cancer! Fucking cancer." I choke on the last few words as I cry hard into Alex's chest. "She didn't deserve that!" I shout into his chest as he presses me tightly into his embrace.

I cry for what feels like hours until the tears stop falling and loud sobs stop escaping my dry lips. Alex is still holding me tightly, stoking my back as he sometimes plays with my pony. He pulls away and looks at me, his eyes looking into my bloodshot eyes, "I don't know what you're going through but I want you to know, I'm here for you every step of the way. I didn't know Gabriella but she was clearly important to you and because of that, I refuse to let you go through this alone. I'll do whatever I need to do for you and for you to heal from this." He finishes as I give him a small smile.

"Thank you." I say. He smiles down at me and places his soft lips on my tear stained cheek. "I want you to remember this, in a years time, you won't be crying anymore. When you think of Gabriella, a laugh will escape your lips, not a sob. It will get better but for now, you need to mourn and you need to heal. For you to heal, I know you will need a punching bag and that punching bag is me. If you need to cry or scream, cry and scream at me. I'm here for you, Y/N." he says as I feel fresh tears fall down my cheeks.

"I love you, Alex." I say as I hug him once more, "I love you too, Y/N."

*****

Sad but cute. The whole story is a paradox (hope my English teacher is proud and I hope I got the paradox right). Stay safe everyone xx