The Glory of Them [Bastille Fanfiction]

Regret

Dan POV

"Hey baby brother." I tried to lift my wrist, but it was restrained. A groan passed my lips as I squeezed my eyes shut. My wrists. They were killing me. " Here, just don't do anything you would regret." I felt the belt like object remove itself from my right hand and I rubbed my face, opening my eyes. I fucked up. Again. My sister's eyes were red from crying, my mother was brushing off a tear. Then there was you and the band. Fast asleep. It was dark out, the clock near the telly said 0004 which was 12:04 AM

"What day is it?"

" The 12th..." I nodded slowly and took a deep breath.

"I told her Dan. About your manic depression. She needs to know that you've got really dark days."

"I'm fine."

" Yeah if you were fine we wouldn't be here right now." I lowered my head in shame for a moment before looking over to your sleeping form. " She was the one who found you. Janna said she was a mess. She argued with the doctors for hours to get your blood transfusions. She even paid an extra 150,000 pounds for the blood reserves so you wouldn't have to wait for a donor. They even took some of her blood and Will's."

"I'm sorry."

"I know. This isn't you..." She sighed and stood as did my mother who came over and kissed my forehead. "We gotta go get dad from the airport. Be good baby brother." She looked to you as you stirred and began to sit up as they walked out. Your eyes locking onto me as you quickly got up and rushed over, hugging me tightly. The air left my lungs by the impact of your body against mine.

"You're awake.... I thought I lost you."

"I'm sorry."

"Shhh it's okay." You moved away and looked in my eyes, pressing your lips to mine your eyes were welling with tears before you placed your forehead against mine. "It's okay Dan. I understand..." I tensed slightly and blinked back the tears.

"I just... I had a dark moment.... I didn't want to be a burden."

"Shhh you're the best thing in my world." You sniffled and played with my hair. Their was a bandage wrapped around your arm where they took your blood. It felt funny at the thought that your blood was running through my veins. Keeping me alive. " How are you feeling?"

"Alright, there isn't any voices. My wrists hurt a lot."

" Yeah they didn't want to give you any medication. Not till you were awake and could discuss your state. They were persistent with the cuffs, but I'm sure they won't mind that your mother or sister took them off of you." I could see you were still reliving the scene of the crime. Your mind drifting off. You'd always have that picture of me. How I regret it now.

" The tour?"

"It's your decision. The guys and I talked it over. If you need to sit back and take a breath... You just tell me."

"No I wanna do it." I took your hand, examining your fingers. You never bit your nails, yet they were short. Short from you probably nervously awaiting my diagnosis.

"As you wish. I'm not sure when the doctors are going to agree to release you."

"More than likely today. They don't keep suicide people for long. At least they didn't last time."

"I should have known though. You told me your teenage years. How you drank when you were 15.... Then at 16 you... You know." Your eyes met mine. "I should have considered something was wrong like that..."

" No I should have talked to you..." I squeezed your hand yet winced at my wrist pain. "I'm sorry you found me."

" You wouldn't be alive had I not found you Dan. I'm glad I found you. Just not the way I did." You stopped talking as the door opened, pulling your hands away from me. The nurse looked to you then to me with a smile.

"Hello, Mr. Smith how are you feeling?"

"Sore other than that... Slightly better."

" How about your mental state?"

"Average I suppose."

" Well you're gonna be prescribed an anti-depressant and for the pain I recommend just taking some Tylenol. However we recommend someone stay with you at nearly all times till we can see how the drug works." I just nodded and looked down. " Alright I'm gonna get those things together and we'll get you ready for discharge." She awkwardly left and soon your hand found mine again.

"Did anyone find out?"

"About what Dan?"

"That I did this... That I'm here."

" No of course not." You gave me a half smile. "I made sure of it. Though we'll have to do something for your wrists before tour to keep it that way." You looked down at your worst and began tugging off your blue braclet and then reached in your pocket, pulling out Kyle's orange concert rubber bracket. " Here these will do.." You squeezed both past my big hands and readjusted the tie on yours to fit better since my wrist was much larger than yours. "Now you've got a piece of me and well Kyle. Keeping you safe..." I nodded slowly and felt my eyes well with tears.

"I was so stupid for doing that to myself."

"I know..." You huffed slightly and got off the bed, grabbing my clothes you had brought. "Go change. I'll wake the others up and we'll wait for the discharge papers." I only nodded and got out of the bed slowly. I felt funny and while standing my wrists hurt more. Once alone in the bathroom I changed and then I peaked at the marks under my bandages. Swollen and red, but no longer bleeding. In this moment I didn't really know how grateful I was that I lived. That you pulled me through. Yeah it was dark, but there was a huge light at the end of the tunnel. Touring. Music. You. What more would I need for happiness?