Against The Odds

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Dedicated to my homie danbastille you got this boiiiii 😝

Dan POV

You fell asleep on the floor in my arms. For once you gave into being weak, which for you was rare. I carefully carried you upstairs and pulled off your heels before easing you out of your clothes and leaving you in your lingerie. The pack of cigarettes in your purse tossed in the trash and the empty whisky glass placed in the sink. Your interview seemed to aid the issue, but now came the hard questions. Fans started to question why... why I stayed... why Janna stayed...

These thoughts ran through my head as I checked on Clara then wandered into the studio room downstairs. I ran my fingers along the keys before sitting down and shuffling through the papers. We had less than a year to get this album cleaned up and completed. Yet fifty songs to choose from made the task only more difficult. Instead of staying in the studio and worrying about this now I wandered back upstairs, taking off my glasses and placing them on the nightstand.

I laid down beside you and unlocked my phone staring at a blank page of notes. I glanced at you before closing my notes and pulling up my pictures. Throughout the years I had acquired plenty of photos during our adventures. Photos from Hawaii, South Africa, America, the list carried on and on. Yet one stood out and I saved it in a tweet draft before returning to my notes. I would do what I do best with the fans. Relate to them. I knew I was the center of attention, even though I hated it the name Bastille and Dan seemed to go hand in hand. I stared at the blinking curser for a few moments before taking a breath and starting my story.

Stormers,

First off yes I know you all call yourselves stormers. I think it is absolutely wicked. I support you all. Just like you support me in a way. By some crazy chance you buy our albums, songs, videos, and even merchandise... Yet against the odds some things have happened in my life and the lives of those whom I care about that seems to have caused a riff... As many of you know I lost my wife and best friend nine months ago in a way. Yes I know everything. In fact I felt anger and as most people know I've never been an angry person. That day my life turned upside down. I knew from the beginning Nicole was different. The way her smile seemed to brighten a room. I also knew the side of her she hid so well from the media. The first day I met her I was more nervous than I ever had been before in my life... which maybe isn't saying much. However the moment I started singing she nodded and winked at me, sending my nervous into oblivion.... Oblivion is another funny story... I don't normally tell the meaning of songs however this song was my lullaby for her. December of 2011 I wrote oblivion, holding her beside me, wishing she would be mine.... and we hid what we had for so long due to the possible back lash. That new years she and I went to durban with my parents. nothing felt more genuine in my life. She understood my demons just as I understood hers...Now it seems you can't hide anything anymore. Even when you want to sometimes. She couldn't hide her addictions just as I couldn't hide my self harm....

When I learned of what two of the most important people in my life did to me... I did what I do best and that was shut out the world. I kept Clara away from her mother... I kept my sanity away. Some people will criticize me for ever taking her back yet... I know her nature... I know my wife's nature. I know the alcoholic... the drug addict... and I know the real her. The one who tells me to change my shirt because I've persistently worn it for a week because it's new. The one who tells me when an outfit is shit (Though I tend to wear them anyways)....The one who sits at the piano with me at 4am instead of yelling about the noise and sings with me to help me finish up the song. The one who saved my life multiple times from myself. The one who sung to Clara in the middle of the night so I could sleep after a gig. The one who I snuck off to marry through everything going on so she'd always be a part of me.

So I ask, support me. Support Kyle and Janna as they prepare to walk down the aisle this spring. support my wife and our daughter. I know it is hard to understand and I know in a way you all just want the best for Bastille and for me... Yet those who really know Nicole, know she's my sanity, my love, my wife.

Much love

Dan x

I attached the note to the tweet and facebook before clicking off my phone and pulling you against my chest. In all honesty it wasn't hard to over look what had happened now that I went without you for eight months. Those were the darkest months of my life. I could only imagine what tomorrow would bring. Whether fans would agree or I just ruined our entire career.

"Babe?" I mumbled, yet there was no answer so I kissed the top of your head and closed my eyes. You turned over and placed your head over my heart, a soft sigh escaping your lips.

"Mmm?"

"Nothing love... Just go back to sleep yeah?" You nodded, running your hand under my black t-shirt and rubbing my chest.

"You need sleep too Daniel... I love you." Your lips brushed against my collar bone, making a smile creep on my lips.

"I love you too." I felt my eyes grow heavy, your fingers tracing circles over my heart until sleep's unconscious bliss pulled me into it's grasps. My arm's never letting you leave my embrace.

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