She Was One Of Them

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Dan POV

Just like every day on vacation it seemed to go by at lightening speed. Artic Monkeys seemed to be your favourite for the day. I got to watch you get lost in the music. Closing your eyes and singing along. Letting yourself relax and just be a fan. That evening we all met back at our camp site and dug into the pasta we had bought.

"Nikki?" I heard a voice call your name, he looked off as did the people behind him. As if they weren't even here really.

"Nate! How are ya?" You say your plate down and wandered over as he approached, engulf you in a hug. "Jen! Kol!... Where is Lori?"

"She umm... It finally got her." The man you called Kol mumbled and you sat down beside me again as they sat nearby.

"We all saw that coming. Sorry, this is Dan, Kyle, Janna, Will, Woody, and Chrissy. These are my old friends... This is the band I've been working with lately." You took another bite of food and watched them.

" You look good girlfriend." Jen smirked slightly. "I take it if I offer you a line you'll say no."

"You're right." You chuckled. "I got sober awhile ago. I take it you all still party?" They nodded and Nate began rolling a blunt before offering it to Will who surprisingly accepted.

"I take it you're miss sober life now?"

"I still drink. I'm still fun. Just not getting shit faced." You motioned to the beer on the ground beside you before taking a sip. "I knew I wasn't gonna live much longer doing all of that..."

" Yeah you and Lori."

" How did she die?"

"Heroin." Jen mumbled before taking the blunt front Will and taking a drag. "She ODed on the beach a couple years ago." You let it sink in before responding with a shrug.

"The only reason she ever clung to me was so I would measure her stuff. Once I got sober she didn't have anyone to do it for her... It was only a matter of time. So how are all of you? Tell anything exciting?" The conversation carried on, I grabbed a blanket for us and covered us up to the hips, your hand finding mine beneath the blanket. You use to be one of them. A user. An addict. A zombie to society. I think that idea scared you now. I felt you shift uncomfortably when they brought up drugs or one of them would pop a pill in their mouth like it was nothing.

"What's that?" Kyle mumbled, pointing to Nate.

"Molly. You want one?" Kyle shivered as you laughed. "I did that once and let's just say Nicole saved my ass that night."

"Nicole use to pop those things like they were candy." Jen chuckled as you took a swig of beer.

" Yeah I'm missing months of memories because of that..."

"Those were some wild months though." Nate mumbled. "Remember you and I went out into the country side?"

"Barely."

"Nicole that must have been your longest relationship." Kol smirked. " You and Nate were together for what? A month. The queen of one night stands."

"That month felt like a day to my fucked up brain back then..." You rolled your eyes. It was then that it sort of sunk into me. I barely knew a thing about your past relationships. Past loves. Past heartbreak. Yet you knew Carly... Londy... That's all there was for me. I was always too shy to talk to women. You'd been with dozens of men. Yet now here you were. Mine and only mine. What changed you? Or was I appealing due to my stability and introverted personality. "I'm different now guys come on give me some credit."

"O really? How long have you been in a relationship then?"

"Well the guy I'm with I've been with since... Well the end of 2011 and it's 2013 now so take that Jen." You smirked and took the blunt from Kol. You took a drag and held the smoke within your lungs before releasing the held breath. How did it make you feel? It made me feel paranoid the only time I tried it and I never wanted to do it again. You seemed to relax, calm down and get sleepy.

" Is he here?" Jen chuckled and you shook your head.

"No, I hide him away in my apartment so people can't see him." You giggled with a fit of laughter.

"Gosh you're awful." Nate rolled his eyes. "Here I thought I'd a second go with you Niks."

" You thought wrong love." You stood and yawned, stretching towards the sky. " Well I'm gonna get some sleep. Night guys." Everyone responded with good night. The three of them left and I waited a few minutes to join you in the tent. You were laying down, looking up at the tent until I came in and then your eyes met mine. "Sorry about them."

"What's to say sorry for?"

"They just remind me of who I was and who I hated... I feel bad Lori didn't make it, but she did that to herself." I climbed into the sleeping bag with you and you placed your head over my heart.

"Where you like them?"

"I was worse... Those three can... Act normal and carry on with their lives. Lori and I... We were gone. Not even useful to the world.... When I got that job I sobered up really quick. They never met me in person till I actually started the job. I remember fucking getting a hotel room with the last bit of money I had and just... Fighting myself in that bed. A week it took before I didn't throw up every time I ate or drank. That was the longest week of my life..." You ran your hand under my hoodie and stroked the side of my torso. "It fucking scares me... Looking at them... They're not even there. They probably won't remember ever running into me... It scares me even more how close I was to death sometimes... I would never have met you or... Be laying here with you." I felt my eyes water as I kissed the top of your head, taking in the familiar comforting smell of vanilla.

"You'll never be anywhere else Nicole. I promise."

"I know... But you also know I'll always be an addict... I know what those drugs feel like... I know I miss the sensations... I don't miss who they made me... But that temptation will haunt me forever." I placed my hand under your chin and made you look at me. Your blue eyes were filled with tears.

"Don't worry. I'll be there to stop you love." I pressed my lips to yours, I was dying to do more than just kiss you. I wanted your skin against mine. To feel your rhythmic heartbeat under my touch and the pleasured sounds you make. Yet I couldn't, at least not here. I stopped kissing you and clung to you, engulfing you in my embrace. Things were going good between us. For how much longer...?

~~~~~~~~~~

You all are probably super surprised as to why you haven't need Kleenex recently. Well my lovely readers you are I give you all commercial breaks of happiness. This commercial break will end after Dan's birthday 😇 thanks to Janna 😈 there is a little hint to keep you all in your toes.

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