The Glory of Them [Bastille Fanfiction]

They Say You're Gone

Warning: trigger. Last sad chapter I swear!
Because danbastille guessed what happened here is another chapter 😂

Dan POV

It was late November and months ago Janna returned without you. She didn't mention a thing about you, but she too lost the color in her face. It was far worse than I expected at least I assumed. She did tell me one tiny detail. Jesse and you were not together anymore. Maybe that was suppose to make me feel better but it didn't. I managed to get out of bed and I adjusted my glasses as I wandered through our apartment, your things still settled as you left them before the tour. I couldn't move them as I still hoped you would return. Maybe it was a long shot, but it gave me something to hold onto through the days, weeks, and months. The world seemed hallow without you by my side. You would be ashamed of me right now. I don't wanna be here without you. Then again I know you would want me to sing. I just haven't had the energy to record anything. No muse for me to find inspiration in and be the Dan I could be when I was happy.

Today was the day though. The day my world flipped upside down and got shook like a snow globe. I sat down in front of the tv with my coffee mug and took a deep breath before flicking on the tv. Nothing exciting as usual. I sighed and grabbed my phone off the coffee table and flicked through Twitter, you hadn't posted in nearly a month. Jesse was constantly playing with his girlfriend Devon. Yes I had done some creeping and stalking. There were a few photos that he had with both you and Dev. Maybe it was sexual or maybe there was something I didn't understand. It didn't matter anymore. You seemed happy out there in your drug enduced bliss. Wasting your days away. Williams was going to ask you to come back, but I think after he saw me he thought it might be best to leave you out there. You broke My heart. My attention was pulled from my phone when I heard your name on TMZ.

" This morning Nicole Clark was apparently found dead from a car accident with Jesse Rutherford. The two were previously a couple and on their way through the canyons. However the vehicle lost control and they two were killed instantly as the car rolled down the cliff. We wanna wish the best to their families and friends during this difficult time." I dropped the coffee on the rug and sunk to my knees as tears filled my eyes. My mouth ajar as I stared at the tv screen.

"No... No!" I grabbed my phone and dialled your number, it kept ringing and with each ring my heart sunk. You were gone. Your body at the bottom of a pit in pieces more than likely. In this moment I had wished so much. I wished I had called sooner. Maybe tried to find you myself. Brought you back from your drug filled life. "My love... Nicole...." I heard my phone ringing and ignored it. I knew now that living without you would be hell. Was this how you felt? Popping all these pills in your mouth at once? It was like swallowing a death sentence. I knew I didn't have a lot of time. Janna and Kyle would come to save me from myself. I didn't want to be saved. I didn't want to be without you. I was shaking as I sat down on our bed, holding the object in my hand. I was so scared, but I had done this before. It stung until it was numb, my body tingling with each cut. My hand was shaking as I closed my eyes that were streaming tears. "I miss you so much Niks... I don't wanna be here... Don't make me stay here..." My heart was racing, only aiding my distruction. Blood soaked your favourite white sheets. Once again I stained our home with my pain. I fell back, gasping for air slightly, looking at the ceiling as it blurred. "If there is a God please just let me see her... Let me hold her for a moment." I closed my eyes and I swear I heard your voice. Telling me to wake up and stop this. Yet there was no turning back. There was no undoing this damage. I was broken. Our glory ended in ruins.

"Dan! Kyle call the ambulance!" Janna's voice echoed in my mind. My consciousness drifting in and out. I couldn't fight her as she applied pressure to my painful wounds. In this moment I want nothing more than for the end. For her not to save me and for me to see you. Then again nothing goes to plan. Not in our world. Looking back I don't know what would have happened had I waited a moment later.

I felt weightless. I was being lifted onto something. I opened my eyes to the sensation of an oxygen mask and felt tears slide down my cheeks. Like pooling out of my body yet they kept trying to save someone who didn't want to be saved. Finally...  Bliss. I closed my eyes and I swore I thought I won. I thought I smelled your vanilla scent engulfing me. Your hair tickling my nose and coaxing me to sleep. I could picture you in Hawaii as we sat in the grass. Me singing to you as you laid in my arms. I pictured you dancing in the rain in your red dress, giving me that laugh that made me smile. The next vision was you in my arms as we laid in bed. The sound of the rain outside as we watched Twin Peaks. What I wouldn't give to go back to those times. Any time with you at least. This was all just a dream. Then again what was reality. What would happen if I woke up?