Dan's Writer's block

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Nicole POV May 2016

I swear she looks more and more like you every day. Mainly the eyes but they say the eyes can tell you everything about a person. Once she learned how to walk it was only a matter of time before she became your shadow. She'd be right behind you walking to the studio, kitchen, anywhere and everywhere. I've never seen a human being smile so much. You on the other hand, things could be better. Once I went back to work so did you. Clara was left with your mom during the day and I would pick her up on my way home. Yet the studio became your home. A struggling musician, constantly working on his craft. Each song sounding more depressing than the last. Sometimes I wondered what was going on in your mind those days. Were you actually sad or just focused?

"Niks?" I was pulled from my thoughts as Janna shook my slightly

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"Niks?" I was pulled from my thoughts as Janna shook my slightly. You, Will, and Kyle were busy working on something.

"Hmm?"

"Someone wants a interview..."

"Who? And with who?" I glanced to her before looking back at Clara whose eyes were glued to you in the booth, hand shoveling Cheerio after Cheerio into her mouth.

"You and Dan... People magazine requests a interview with Mr. & Mrs Smith in regards to the next album. We also request a separate interview with the band for our late June release."

" Why does everyone want to talk to Dan and I?"

" Because you're the couple everyone wants to know about." She chuckled softly. "Check that Fanfiction site... Nan stories are popping up every day. This fandom wants more of Bastille and more of Dan and you." I sighed before rubbing my face. The pressure was becoming overwhelming in a way. Leaking into our personal life.

"And now we're faced with two wrongs
Now we're faced with two wrongs
I don't know, oh, I don't know
Now we're faced with two wrongs
Now we're faced with two wrongs
I don't know, oh, I don't know

We could be born to anything and now, and now
What you have done is terrible
And now you, and now you
Now you carry it with you
You carry it with you
You carry it with you "

" Why does he always sound so depressed." Janna whispered as your voice filled the booth over the speakers.

"I'm not sure. He's getting this attitude out of habit... You know him. When he writes it consumes him. In the most memorizing way. Yet when he isn't writing and he's with Clara he seems so young again. Like when I first met him in the bar." I chuckled slightly, a smile playing on my lips. "I think the little shows next week will do him good."

"Kyle too... Him and I have been... Quite."

" Why?"

" He told me about the time he kissed you... When he was on that drug." I shivered at the fact. It'd been over a year for sure. Here I thought he'd forgotten. "I think he still feels for you-"

" Janna that is nonsense. You and Kyle are my best friends and I highly doubt Kyle feels that way." I surely wasn't going to tell her about his visit on new years eve. It would only add to her worries. Never in my mind thought did I or would I have the thought of getting with Kyle. "I'll talk to him. He's probably just stressed. They all are over this new album. The deadline isn't till next year but they still feel the pressure."

"I guess who can blame them." Janna mumbled her eyes settling on Clara. "I just want what you have.... A family."

" It isn't all fun and games Janna. Trust me. We argue like any other family. We cry. Laugh..." I sighed softly and glanced to you as you took off your headphones. Your eyes locked onto the paper before you. "But in the end... When we lay in bed at night it makes sense. I know fans love or hate me and I've come to terms with it." You walked out of the booth, like a magnet walking to Clara whose arms were already stretched out for you.

" How is daddy's sweet girl." I shivered at your words. Sweet girl. Two words that could make my memories of Steve come flooding back and nearly send me into tears. You glanced to me and cracked a smile yet your eyes looked somewhere else. As if you weren't actually here and instead stuck in your thoughts. Kyle pulled Janna into his arms as he sat down yet glanced to me for a moment.

"She's just fine darling. Done recording for the day?"

"I suppose. I can't seem to put my thoughts to paper."

"Well we have an interview tomorrow... You me and every one else."

"About?"

"Anything and everything... About the new album I'm sure." You sighed softly and sat down, Will snagging Clara whose giggles filled the air. She'd been comparing Will to her stuffed bear constantly.

"I don't have anything to say about the new album yet. It is barely even a concept darling." Your hand grasped mine as if to plead for advice, yet all I did was shrug.

"Then like most things we don't understand or know yet... We fake it." You went silent once again. Eyes locked onto our daughter tracing the Scorpio tattoo on Will's wrist. In this wild world I think she was the only reason you really survived mentally. That in the end you didn't go crazy because you had her constantly by your side. Maybe I was a part of your sanity. Like an anchor grounding you from floating away.... Or like the warmth of a blanket on a snowy day while sipping tea. Yet I don't think you'd ever escape the prison you created for yourself. Those four walls of the studio held you in almost a suffocating manner. Then again who could blame music for having such control over you. Music held the power in our lives. Testing our family and friends for this year.

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