The Glory of Them [Bastille Fanfiction]

Faded

Janna POV (2 weeks since she left)

Dan's emotions bleed into everything. I'd never seen his eyes so grey. His cheeks sunk in making him look ill like the rest of his body. She betrayed him. She betrayed us. Jesse Rutherford. Known drug addict and fuck boy out in Los Angeles. I wish I could have protected him from seeing the photos from that party. I remember the moment he saw them. His hand covered his mouth as he dropped his phone. Sobs rippled through his body before he locked himself in the back room. Kyle looked down at the device. Jesse's teeth latched onto her breast. They were more than friends. There was no doubting it now. Dan didn't speak. He sang that night, drank, and then went to sleep. How do you fix a broken man whose only glue was her?

Dan POV (One Month)

You haunt me. I wish I could quit singing. Hide away in the closet and be done. I stood in the bathroom, playing with the razor in my hands, running the blade along my thumb as my hands shook. I dropped it in the sink before splashing water on my face then drying it with my towel. I unlocked the door and joined the rest of the band in the back of the bus, my stomach aching with nausea. It had been since I last saw you. Yet every day almost I watched your demise on tv. TMZ stalked you and him. One day you looked like death. A hospital band on your thin wrist. Other days you plaster make up and make yourself look normal. He was almost always by your side. As much as I wished to say I hope he makes you happy the words could never leave my mouth.

" And booked." Janna clicked a key on her computer and I blinked a few times looking over at her.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going out to speak with her Daniel. Mr. Williams actually asked me to... He's working on reassigning her back here with us... For her own health." It made me shiver the thought of seeing you again. Hearing your voice. Then again I wasn't sure if my heart could accept you after what you did. You destroyed me. Made me feel like this again.

" Why?"

" Dan she's sick... She isn't herself you heard her on the phone. She could barely say fucking hello!" I flinched to her raised voice then shrugged.

"Why bring her back? She's happy out there with him! I'm no fuckin good... She doesn't love me..." I lowered my voice as Kyle squeezed my shoulder. My anxiety was kicking in, my body shaking instantly.

"I'm bringing her back because I see what this has done to both of you... At least you two can get some bloody closure."

"She won't talk you Janna. She's not Nicole anymore." The words stumbled from my mouth. I didn't want to believe them yet from what I saw you were gone. The blonde whose hair smelled of vanilla and whose arms settled in my embrace at nice. Whose giggle could make even me crack a smile. "She'll be too busy fucking Rutherford's brains out." Smack. Janna's hand connected with my face, sending me into shock.

"Stop it! That's your fucking fiancée out there. She's fucked up. You saw the photos yourself. She can't spend a fucking day sober or not high. You think she even knows who she is Dan? You think she feels anything? Probably not. I have a ton of sympathy for you... I really do... But if I get her back here.... Don't chase her away. Get the closure you want if that's your choice and send her off!" Send her off... I nodded before getting up and heading to the front of the bus. Kyle was behind me, curious of what I would do, yet when I sat down with my keyboard on my lap he understood.

"I've got demons running round in my head
And they feed on insecurities I have
Won't you lay your healing hands on my chest?
Let your ritual clean...." I sat for a moment and thought. "Set me free from my jealousy
Won't you exorcise my mind?
Won't you exorcise my mind?
I want to be free as I'll ever be
Exorcise my mind
Help me exorcise my mind"

" Dan mate.... That's really wicked."

" For sure." Woody chimed in from standing in the hall near the bunks. Even in your absence you were my muse. I could picture you dancing and goofing around with Janna to our usual writing. Yet you weren't. You were on tv with him. Apparently you two made a song. Sweater Weather. A song I couldn't listen to for more than a few seconds before chills ran up my spine. Before I wanted to for once hurt someone. The TV had him and you. Anything sexual they could find they put up. Then just like that you disappeared from the TV. Disappeared from the news and it was just him. He'd sing about you. I swear he knew you were watching with his movements that made it on the news. Then the album dropped. You name in the credits. Yet you were no where. I started to worry if Janna would find you. A week later he was on tv with a new girl. You weren't in the picture. I figured he used you for fame. Used your body for his pleasure. Then like everyone else he tossed you aside to rot. However I was wrong. I was very wrong. Your life was far worse than I could picture. Yet Janna would find you. She would know the secrets you hid from the camera with him. Jesse.

Then there was me. Self destructing behind the scenes. There was no glory without you. It was an empty abyss. I was calling for oblivion to consume me. To swallow me whole and never let me go as you name hung on my lips.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Never believe what is on tv children. Let's see what's going on out on the west coast. Janna won't be happy.