The Glory of Them [Bastille Fanfiction]

What Do I Say

Happy Wednesday! I know you all are wondering why I haven't updated. I tend not to update on the weekends. Also Monday was my birthday so I got drunk and Tuesday I was recovering. 😅 yesterday my boyfriend got a flat tire. So here is the update.

Dan POV

We were overwhelmed. It was as simple as that. Once you started showing rumors flew around like wild fire. Was it Jesse's? Mine? Someone else's? Then there was us not seeing each other often. I spent a lot of time in the studio while you sat at home or went out for baby things.

I guess I should mention you and I got a house together. The apartment was too small to raise a family in and grow. It hurt you leaving that place and the memories it held.

"Dan?"

"Mmm?"

"Why don't we take off for the rest of the day?" Dick mumbled into the microphone. I glanced to Kyle who almost had a pleading look on his face. I wanted to say no, but by his expressing something told me otherwise.

"Sure... I think we could all use it." I stood and clicked off the keyboard before grabbing my phone off the stool and shoving it in my pocket.

"How's Nicole?" Will mumbled, slipping his jacket on.

"Alright I guess..." Even my words lacked confidence. "I see her at night... She's usually asleep by then." My sentence trailed off as I put on my hat. "I might she if she'll want to possible have dinner tonight. Though the baby is taking a lot out of her."

"I'm surprised she hasn't joined you is all..." Will glanced to me shrugging.

"She's been distant... Hasn't even talked to Janna." Kyle was wearing a frown, glancing from his phone to me. Maybe I wasn't worrying enough. Maybe that was why today went this way.

"I'll see what's going on." I mumbled, walking out of the building and to my car. The drive home was about a half an hour. The rain coming down. I'll never forget this day. I walked up to the front door and clicked it open, tossing my keys into the table. "Nicole? Niks?" I flicked on the lights as I made my way upstairs to our room. You looked defeated, suitcase by your feet, a hand on your swollen stomach. " Niks? What's wrong?"

"I can't do this anymore..." The words escaped your mouth in a whisper. "I can't stay at home and wait for you to return... Wait for you to go on tour... Wait for us to get married..." Tears trickled down your cheeks, my stomach knotted up tightly.

"The baby? You can't just leave..." I closed the distance between us, yet you countered it by stepping back.

"Please don't make this harder on me... It's yours... If you want full custody I would give it to you willingly Dan." You looked in my eyes and I could swear I saw the color drain. "I'm not fit for this life... You need a woman whose happy being Suzy homemaker! I'm not her! I'm not even ready to be a bloody mum!" Your emotions took over, the hormones winning control. Sobs shook your frame and I was dying to hold you.

" What do you want me to say to make you stay?" I felt hot tears roll down my face. I was losing you again. The only one whom could make me feel right. The space beside me that was considered my sanity.

" You can't make me stay..." You picked up your suitcase, pulling it by the handle. I brushed my hand along your arm, already missing the warmth of you around me. Reality hit when the front door open and closed shut. My knees giving out as I sunk to the floor. My life I thought I had figured out was shattered around me. At 28 everything was coming undone. This house seemed so huge all of a sudden.

"What the fuck did I do..." I whispered, pulling my knees to my body and wrapping my arms around them, my head on one of my knees. I didn't move from that spot for awhile. Not until the phone rang and I prayed it was you. It wasn't. It was Kyle and I could tell him. I couldn't tell him you were gone. In fact I never told a soul. I went on with life letting everyone think you were still in mine. Maybe it was the fact that I didn't want to believe you had gone.

My birthday I spent alone. I told everyone you and I had plans. I tried to call you but you didn't answer. I couldn't help but think about the baby. Whether it be a boy or a girl I still wanted to be there for the birth. Those phone calls I would yell into your voicemail. An alcohol fueled rage fueling my anger. Only to put out by your melodic voice recorded on the other end.

August came. It was warm and with it came memories of you and I. The places we went and the things we use to talk about. I became numb to the idea of you. Kyle and Janna I think are noticing. Maybe they know you're gone and want to see how long I'll keep this game up did before I break. Will stopped by and noticed the absence of your essence. I told him you were away with friends. Then October. Touring and all of the parts of my job that were suppose to be fun.

"Hey isn't Nicole's due date soon?" Janna grinned looking toward me. All I did was nod and glance up from my phone as we sat in the studio. Kyle recording his bits. October 30th. I'll never forget the day. My phone rang, your name popping up on my screen. I stood and walked out of the studio, clutching the phone to my ear.

"Nicole!?"

"I'm at... The hospital...." Your voice was weak. Right then I knew there was more to you leaving than I knew. You were a Clark. I should have made you a Smith sooner. Maybe then this would have turned out this way. Maybe then we wouldn't have had to suffer. All things glorious suffer though.