Chapter 72 Liam's POV

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I basically just told my queen she's not to get pregnant again. How selfish and self centered I must sound to her. To fu king everyone. But you don't understand unless you've been through it. She nearly fucking died for fuck sake. That's not happening again. I won't risk it. Amy actually died. Stacey dodged that bullet.. Just. Absolutely not. I'll pay someone to do it before she thinks she is. But she seems to be OK. I was expecting a freak out.. Kicking off or something. Anything.
"You sure you OK baby? I love you you know that, I'm doing this for you. For all of us" I tell her and she nods sadly. I'm sad to baby. I love her pregnant, she glows something different and the whole bare foot and pregnant.. Not for me anymore..
"I'm OK I guess, it was just a shock to hear you say it. To read your entry after nearly four months. Why didn't you give me it sooner? If this is how you've been feeling I need to know these things" she says to me and I sigh looking away from her intense stare.
"I don't know, I've been hesitant about giving it you, but it pops into my head every now and then. But for some reason it built up today and I said what I said to jaosn too. I need to apologise to him. Fuck!" I say annoyed with myself. I know exactly how he's feeling aswell after what I said and I just walked away. I bet Lola's wondering what the fuck. But weirdly I feel better now I've told my queen.
"It's OK baby, he knows you didn't mean it and that you love him. He's not stupid but yeah maybe apologise to him, it'll make you both feel better" she says and kisses me.
I watch her wipe under her eyes and across her cheek drying the tear tracks and she looks at me.
"Now you've shown me this, do you actually feel better? Honestly Liam" she says and I nod with a smile.
"I actually do baby thank you for reading and listening. You help tremendously and I love you so much. I'm sorry this is how it is but now you can have as many babies as you want.. Pros queenie" I tell her smirking and she laughs. Music to my ears.
"Funny baby.. But your right, we'll have one still in a year tho" she says poking me and I smirk. We'll see my queen. Football team incoming...

"Jason, come" I wave my hand to him and he gets up from the sofa. He whispers something to Lola making her smile and he follows me into the kitchen. I grab two tumbles and pour us out drinks whiskey for him, rum for me and I hand his over.
"What I said brother, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. I'm just.. Its been hard" I tell him as we take seats at the table.
"It's OK brother, I actually get it. You was right but it's not like that. I didnt do it intentionally. I don't want whats yours so ease don't think it's that. I love you and your my brother always. You Mize well be my god damn twin instead" he says and chuckles making me laugh. He's not wrong.
"I just wanted to apologize anyways. Don't think that's how I think of you because it's not man. I love you brother" I tell him patting his shoulder.
"and what do you mean it's been hard? What has? Talk to me brother am always here" he tells me making me smile.
"Just can't move oasut the birth with Stacey. I've just told her she's not having anymore.. We'll she can't get pregnant anyways anymore because I can't handle losing her. I know I've hurt her with this new information but what else can I do?" I ask him and he sighs patting my shoulder now.
"I hear you brother, but you of all people know you can't control Stacey and she's gonna do what she thinks is best for you. Always. You need to chill a little, you need a spliff brother your worked up hard. It was months ago aswell. Let's get high" he says and I smile. That's what we was ment to do the other night but it didn't happen.
"Alright yeah, fuck it. I need it" I tell him and he nods happily.
"Let me sort it brother" he says downing his drink and standing up pulling out his phone.
"I'll go tell the girls" I tell him and he thumbs up at me walking out.
I down my drink happy that he's good and accepts my apology. I ca t live with Jason pissed at me. It doesn't work. Ever!
I walk through the foyer back into the girls who are chatting and laughing and I smile at them.
"Who's up for getting high then. We'll chill in the second lounge" I tell them and they look at eachother then back to me grinning.
"It's been awhile baby, are you and Jason good?" my queen asks me and I nod grinning broad smile.
"See, I told you baby, where is he?" she asks loping around behind me.
"Placing the order, he's the one that wanted to smoke" I tell her and she nods.
"Do you even smoke Lola?" Stacey asks her and she smirks.
"Babes I smoke, trust me. It's getting alot" Lola says laughing and I remember being like that. Wouldn't go anywhere without weed or I needed to be high. Life was better when your high.
Jason comes back into us and drops in the sofa next to Lola.
"Twenty minutes brother, I grabbed just the two oz, we'll see how old you are. Can you still smoke?" he asks me smirking and I laugh. It has been awhile.
"Don't worry about me, my wife loves me. You have the problem mate. Whitedeathing isn't attractive.. Isit Lola?" I say to them and both girls laugh Lola shaking her head as she runs Jason's thigh.
"I be good brother, don't worry about me" he says and I smirk at him. We'll see then brother.

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