BULLIED

Story 66

It still hurts to say this but my name is Shauna and I have gotten through an abusive relationship and being bullied in middle school. Not once did I ever think that I would be the one that got bullied. I had a lot of confidence and a high self-esteem at the time. I had so many friends and I was happy! Until the 6th grade hit. I still remember my first day, terrified of my new school and I didn't know what was to come. It all started with a boy on my bus! Constantly harassing and teasing me in the morning and afternoons. I realized I was getting bullied when he smacked my sandwich out of my hand, stepped on it, and then through at my face. At this point I was beginning to feel alone so when a boy asked me out I said yes. He was so sweet, kind, funny, and handsome at FIRST! Then the third month into our relationship he changed. He started to make rude jokes about me and tease me. Then one day by my local library when I told him I wasn't in the mood to hang out he shoved me against the brick building. I was completely shocked! How could this happen to me! We started yelling and arguing so I walked away into the library! These were my first two experiences! The bullying got worst! The original person that was bullying me got at least 13 other people to bully me. It was depressing and lonely being me. I was still dating the boy and by this time I knew I was getting abused. It started off being every couple weeks, to every week, and eventually everyday! I was afraid of him. I had bruises and marks up and down my body! I was able to hide it because I have eczema. My parents never knew and I wasn't planning on telling them. 7 months went by and I finally broke up with him and got one of my last beatings. I can't even imagine seeing him today. Though back to the bullying situation, by the time 6th grade was over I knew that my life was not going to be the same as elementary school and the happy and joyful Shauna was gone. My 7th grade year my dad was gone a lot and I was getting bullied constantly everyday at least 4-5 times a day. I was miserable! I was helpless! I was depressed... This was the year that I decided that I wanted to end my pain and everybody else's. So one day after school I went into my medicine cabinet and took 3-6 pills of every type of pill that I could swallow! I remember crying and screaming, I was breathing so hard and my heart felt like it was going to come out of my chest. Luckily I only ended up getting very sick! By my 8th grade year I was very angry and mean to everybody! I hated everything and anything that I could possibly hate. I became the bully. I am ashamed of my actions and I know my past is not an excuse but I was hurting. My bullying situation got so bad that I didn't eat in the lunchroom anymore. I sat in a teachers classroom and ate my lunch and worked. I was lonely! I was no longer Shauna! She was gone, and didn't plan on coming back. I still took pills in the 8th grade but it wasn't that many! I began to smoke pot and drink alcohol. It got rid of the pain for a short period of time and I just felt like I was okay until that high is over and you feel like you need more! I started to get sick again and started to become light headed all of the time and I always had a shortage of breath. But then my Lord and Savior saved me. Track! When I started track I was extremely skinny from not eating and taking pills, so I didn't think I would be any good, but it turns out I was amazing. I was the fastest girl in the school! When I ran I didn't think about anything! I felt free of the pain suffering! I was able to let go. It's sad to say that my story doesn't end well! At the end my family blamed me for getting abused and bullied and my own brother started bullying me in my own house but I'm stronger then ever before and I can fight my battles now!

~Shauna, a survivor