BULLIED

Story 238

I've always been the weird girl, the kid that liked to sweat, the girl who liked to play soccer, not like the other girls, who liked to fix hair on each other. So when I first entered 1st grade and everyone looked at me, I guess they could feel that I was not like them. To be honest, it started before that, but I didn't really understand it so. But I was never the brightest one. So people called me, "Kinder egg". Because kinder eggs are brown on the outside and white on the inside. Meaning that I was a brunette, but I was stupid like a blonde (which btw is an absurd and untrue statement, blondes are not dumb). They would laugh at my clothes and whenever my teacher pointed me out to answer the question, everyone would look at me and whisper, they thought I couldn't hear but I did. I heard every single word.

"She can't answer"

"She is so stupid"

"Why was she born haha"

And even my best friends from kindergarten joined in.

I didn't let it get to me, but it was bound to go wrong. So at the end of 2nd school year, everything went downhill. I stayed silent, and I didn't hang as much with my friends as I had. But then I got better and I brushed it all off. It was still going, people laughed and made jokes about me. But I brushed it off. Until, it became too much. In 4th grade, I became silent again. I just stayed away from everyone. I ate my lunch alone, no one came to me and I didn't go to anyone. At the end of the year, I started getting terrible thoughts about myself. I felt ugly and worthless and useless and just utterly lost and alone. When I got home from school, it just continued. My parents laughed at me and made jokes. And my mom called me ugly. Then we moved to Denmark, and I got to a new school. I remember my mom said, "This will be a chance for you to start all over again.". In Denmark I started in a foreign class first. And there I got my best friend. She was amazing. But soon it became a nightmare, she was better than me. My mom compared me to her. So I started getting these terrible thoughts again.

"Doesn't she want me?"

"Does she hate me?"

"She hates me"

"I should just die"

And I started cutting. I cried myself to sleep every night. Every day I feared to go to school, and every day I feared to go back home. I just wanted to die and to be alone. On November 7th 2012, my best friend and cousin died, and that laid heavy on my heart. I became more silent. In 6th grade, they started bullying me. They talked behind my back, and they just ignored me. They kept me outside of the society. I tried. But they just called me names. No one wanted to sit with me.

And now 2 years later, they still do, but I've told my teacher. And though nothing has changed, it has still helped me. I stopped cutting, and I still have moments were I get suicidal but I'm getting better.