BULLIED

Submission 804

Before I start I would like to say that I have congenital nystagmus which means I can't see over a 6 meter radios and my eyes shake 24/7 witch I can't control (I don't see the shaking through my eyes). I am not saying this so you will feel pity for me or think I am using it as an excuse I am announcing this because it effected on what I thought about myself, how everyone thought I was a freak (this was mostly all in my head).

My family use too always travelled a lot meaning that I went to 4 different primary/elementary schools until 4th grade when we finally settled. I can't remember much of my first school but I do think that I liked it there and in my second school I only had one friend (witch I didn't really mind) no one else really noticed me there.

At my third school many people wanted to be my friend but for some reason I chose to be friends with the bully of the school, which I didn't know at the time. At first she teased other kids and I just observed but soon enough I started staying in at lunch for calling someone names. Once I realised that I was hurting people and that it wasn't just a game, I tried to make both of us change but instead of her following along her and her other friend started to push me over trying to make me fall in dog poo! Luckily people saw and stopped them and after that I hanged out with other people. And everything seemed all good when I had to move again, to a privet school.

When I got to this new school I was buddied up with two girls that wanted nothing to do with me. They always left me to be by myself so I tried to make other friends witch failed. So I found an opening in a bush and sat there every recces and lunch. I spent that time thinking and drawing in the dirt or sometimes paper from a school book. The teacher to notice I didn't have any friends so she rea buddied me with two other people. This time I tried better to make friends with them and I did after a while. The rest of year 4 and 5 went well until I got into a fight with one of my friends friend that was the day I learned a whole new verity of words in my very first real fight. That went on for a bit then school camp came and people started spreading rumours that I was ------- or something since I wasn't talking, I was pail since I was sick and I sat alone because I was in I fight with my friends.

All of this blew over after a while and we friends again. It was all peachy but it had to be ruined all over again later that year. Some 'popular' boys started calling me doll face etc. and when they didn't get a reaction from me they teased me over my eye problems. They were all a year older than me and I was scared of them.

I remember one time on the last week of the school year where I was standing in line for something and one of them pushed in line. I don't know why I didn't keep quit, it didn't even matter that much but is still said something. Once I said that it was unfair three of the boys came up to me and said that I had no right to tell them wat to do and that I was a freak of nature. I felt my face heat up and my eyes became heavy. I never let them get to me that bad before but it was my eyes they were talking about. I bolted out of the room and strait to the bathroom, not asking to go I just ran, tears falling down my face. When I came out after a really long time I didn't have the courage to tell the teacher until the second to last day of school and by then it was too late.

So to sum it up most of 4th 5th and 6th grade I either had no friends or someone was teasing me, I never realised how much I was hurting other people when I was the one bullying. 7th grade was way better I made bonds with more people and because my bullies left for high school that made me show more of the real me.

Sorry that my story was long, I was bullied by many people in many different ways. But I pulled through and now I'm in high school filled with some of the nicest people I've ever met. I haven't been bullied ever since grade 6th.