BULLIED

Submission 1045

Hi I'm Avery and I'm 14 and my story is probably like a lot of the other story's you have seen and read through. My bullying started when I was 11, at the time I was not very smart, tall, and my hair was huge. I was called many names including stupid,ugly,fat,etc. I became depressed and very anxious, I didn't know why I was so sad because I didn't know what depression was. I was always so nervous to go to school because I was afraid of what kind of day it was going to be. After a year of what seemed like hell I graduated elementary school and moved onto Junior High, I promised myself I would never be the same girl I was so I changed myself. The year started off good except my parents were fighting non stop. I went to youth group and church i prayed to God every single day my life would not be like it was. God didn't give me what I wanted, I was called weird and annoying by so many people and it made me change more and more. After that year I thought it wasn't so bad it wasn't as bad at 5th grade so i was happier at the time knowing I had God in my life. 7th grade rolled around, the year started out okay I finally confronted my mother about how I felt and she set me up with a therapist. One the second day of school at lunch we were allowed to sit anywhere we want and figure out where we wanted our assigned lunch tables to be, of course i wanted to be with my friends so I sat with them and these three girls sat beside us. One of the girls was old friends with my best friends and the other two I had never talked to before. I am a VERY loud person so it's very easy to hear my conversations. The three girls started laughing and interacting with or group. After about a month of just making them laugh and talking with us they asked if just me wanted to sit with them I said sure but just for a day. That day turned into a week, which then turned into a month, and another month it was now October. About a week before October started I had my first kiss at a foot ball game and I was very happy and I felt grown up because of that. The three girls I was now sitting with were friends with this guy. The girls always made fun of him in a friendly way but I actually thought he was cute and I finally found someone who was taller than me. One of the girls told the guy this information and gave him my kik, I wasn't that happy but I didn't complain. Just after 3 days of talking and joking around he finally asked me out. I was really excited because this was my first boyfriend. The word got out of course and one of the girls I was sitting with got really mad and jealous because she liked him. The girl ended up telling everyone me and the guy had sex and I gave him a bj. I was slut shamed a lot people called loose and the girl got her other friends to start slut shaming and making untrue rumors, but being the stupid ass I am I continued to date this guy. With the luck that I have of course he ended up cheating on me and broke my heart. My sister who is in college invited me over to her dorm and she didn't help anything because her boyfriend of three years was there. I got over him because I finally realized he was trash and not even the good kind. I was slut shamed so much I started to believe it. I felt I had no more friends. I took my anger and sadness out on my mom and while I was doing that my parents got divorced after that I needed friends more than anything I had just turned 13 and I have no idea why but I became friends with 16 to 25 year old mostly guys. I fell into a drug addiction to cocain. I snuck out every night and had multiple boyfriends at once I never did anything sexual with them. The three girls found out and told more and more lies. One night I came home crying and went up to my room, I had my own bedroom and bathroom at the time so I could do a lot of stuff with out my parents finding out. I was in the shower and my I had just shaved my legs (sorry for the tmi) I was hurting so bad inside I just wanted the pain to go away so I broke the razor and took the blade and slit my wrists and legs I didn't cut too dip to kill me but I cut deep enough not to feel the pain. I was bleeding uncontrollably so I tip toed down stairs and attempted to grab a few band aides but of course my mother walks in from work. My mother is very sincere and asks what's wrong and I said I accidentally cut my self with a knife . Mom asked if she could see it at that time I hated having a nurse as mom just for that reason I told her no and ran upstairs. Of course she followed and I wouldn't show her what I did. Finally she held me down and looked for herself. I could see the disappointment in her eyes. Mom just told me it's okay and called my doctor, the day after she took me to the doctor and the doctor prescribed me and-depressants I never took the anti - depressants instead I just threw them away and continued to purge. School got worse more and more people slut shamed me. One day I had enough, I went home and slit my wrists so bad I passed out. Thankfully my mother found me and I was immediately rushed to the hospital. My mother said I wasn't allowed to come back home with my state of mind so she send me to a place called PBH (Parkveiw behavioral health) I stayed there for a week and went back home but 2 months later I OD'd on anti - depressants so I went back to PBH summer came by and it was filled with drugs and alcohol. The beginning of 8 th grade this year was terrible I failed all my classes I didn't cut as much and I didn't attempt suicide again. Mom and I became best friends and stopped fighting. Now coming 2016 I haven't cut since September I don't think about suicide and I am almost 3 weeks sober but I'm still going through withdrawal I think my story might help new middle schoolers and others through tough times. IT DOES GET BETTER!!!!! Suicide is not the answer I promise!!! - all the love💕💕