BULLIED

Story 394

Okay. Where do I begin? First of all, this is the most terrifying thing that I can think of doing at the moment.

It been bullied for as long as I can remember. It started out with petty name calling when I was in 1st grade. I've always had quick wit, so it didn't used to bother me. I can just respond with something that would shock their jaws open. It went like this up until 4th grade.

In 4th grade, I moved to a completely different state, all the way across the country. I'm a rather socially awkward guy, so I was terrified when it came to making friends. It frustrated me more that my little sister has always been good at it.

Anyways, I'm not necessarily what you'd call normal. I'm also a musician at heart and I loved to drum, so I'd do it anywhere. Literally. I'd drum on the tables, on the walls and on my laps. Everyone HATED me for it. I was annoying to them. I mean, granted, I probably was annoying. I was a weird little kid. I got picked on a lot for it.

Again, it continued through fifth grade. Then sixth grade happened. There were two people who made things pretty rough. Let's call them Bully and Nightmare. Bully was Nightmare's little buddy. Did everything Nightmare wanted him to.

I guess the bullying from those two got initiated by a "friend," who kissed me. On the mouth. He was a guy too. I got called gay and derogatory terms for that word for the next two or three years.

In 7th grade, I was in choir. The teacher was very neglectful. I got locked in her classroom with Bully and Nightmare. Do you remember them? They locked me in the room and cornered me. They taunted me and probably would have beaten me half to death if the door didn't open at the most opportune moment. Of course, they act like little angels, because what else would they be?

All this stuff is just play compared to the next stuff, though.

Before ninth grade, I moved... again. I didn't have as much problem making friends as I did in the other school. I had my fair share of enemies, though.

I ended up becoming a villain. At least, I was painted that way. I didn't want to be a villain. That's not what I wanted to be known as, but I heard things like, "Why are you so mean?" and "Maybe you'd have more friends if..." so much that I started to believe that I was the bad guy.

I became depressed. I didn't know I was depressed for another year, but when I reflect these days, it's undeniable. I guess all those words really got to me, huh?

I neared the end of that year with a few so-called friends. Only one of them was really my friend. The two other ones ended up being bullies. No, scratch that. Demons. We were all up above the gymnasium while a bunch of people were playing some game. These two demons started cornering me, saying things like, "We should rape him." I cannot lie about this.

One of them got me on the floor and started dragging me around still taunting. "We're gonna rape him!" Meanwhile, there were at least five other people just letting it happen.

I told the vice principal about this. He's a friendly guy. He's easy to talk to and we get along well. The two people who did this got expelled and all their friends hated me for getting their friend expelled for the rest of the year. They kept telling me, "I can't believe you got him expelled."

I went to a different school for 10th grade, so I lost the one friend I had before. This is where I sunk lower. I started contemplating suicide, even though I never attempted it.

I met this girl. She was wonderful. She was so nice to me. She introduced me to all of her friends who were also amazing.

After awhile, a few of her friends just stopped being friends with her. I never got the whole story. I felt really bad for her, though. I disconnected myself from those people she introduced me to. For her, of course.

Well, it turns out, they were right all along. The person that I gave up three amazing people for started ignoring me. She completely blocked me out.

I stopped being friends with her. She talked to me after that. She said, "Why are you ignoring me? Aren't we friends?" Again, I felt bad. If there is anything I hate about myself is that I'm so easily pulled in to guilt trips like that. I decided to be her friend again. What harm could it do, right?

Well, she did the same routine. She ignored me and I just decided she wasn't worth it again.

The three friends that I went back to saved my life. I'm not even exaggerating. I'm not depressed anymore. I haven't even thought of suicide for a few months now. It's because I had them to keep me on top.

I'm going into 11th grade, though, and I'm so scared I'll just go crawling back to that one girl who always seems to reel me in. Honestly, I don't know how I'll get through the next year if it happens again.