Submission 823

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*I am continuing the story I wrote for submission 774*

I am the victim. I have been bullied all my life but everything started to get worse in eighth grade. I had a friend or so I thought. The start of the year we were the best of friends. We did everything together. Then a group of popular kids wanted him to sit at their table. The people there didn't like me and little did I know was that they had a plan to break me and my old friend up as friends. They had him thinking he was one of them and then they told him to choose one victim from our lunch table. He chose me. The comments that he had been saying to me really hurt.

Fat, pig, annoying, bitch, ugly, unwanted, lesbian, nerd, and there were many more. I didn't know what to do. And to make everything worse was that none of my friends stood up for me. They didn't even care. That hurt even more than the comments knowing that my friends didn't support me even when I was being bullied. I went to our school guidance staff and he talked to him for me. They had us sit down with him and talk about all of this and "work it out". After he apologized to me everything was fine. He started to sit with us at lunch again and he stopped his mean comments. But after two days it took a turn for the worst. We were in gym class and he needed head buds for workouts. I always keep extras so I let him borrow them. After class he asked if he could borrow them for his next class. As the good person that I am I said yes Not knowing that when he went into my pencil pouch to get the head buds he also took some things from me. I was hurt to hear this after his stepbrother had told me after school. As I was texting him i received a text from my old friend. he said.....

Bully: Hey loser! How dare you blame me for stealing your stuff. You know that I would never steal from a dirty, poor, bitch like you. You are so unpopular nobody would ever think these are your head buds. So fuck you! Bye bye.

I didn't even know how to respond to that so all I did was cry. I cried for about twenty minutes and then I received another text. It was from my friend. She had been with the bully when him and all his friends were talking about me and saying comments about me. I thanked her for telling me and then my mom came to pick up my brother for his guitar lessons. I was home alone for about forty five minutes so I had taken out my journal and I started to write about my thoughts of cutting myself and how no one liked me and how they didn't even know that I was alive. I locked away the journal and never went back. That is until the next day. I was walking to school and he lives near me. I tried to walk past his house as fast as possible but he came running out. He came up to me and started acting like I was his friend. I told him to fuck off and then he stuck up his middle finger and then he punched me. I started to run but he chased after me and then punched me again. And to make this all worse my friend and my bully's step brother started to laugh as they watched. By the time I got to school they started to mock me and laugh at me. I felt worthless and soon developed depression. I no longer felt safe at school anymore. I no longer felt welcome with my friends and I no longer wanted to be at the school. I got inside and went to the school bathroom where the girl that my old friend was hanging out with was. I was scared and I started to walk out when she came up next to me. She started to mock me and I just couldn't take it anymore. I burst into tears and she called me a fugly baby. Then she walked out acting all innocent like nothing ever happened. Another day more comments and I sunk more and more into my depression. I went home and I started to cry. It hurt to think that people thought about me like that. I went into my craft drawer and pulled out an X acto knife. I was holding it thinking about cutting myself. I decided not to but that didn't mean that the thought wasn't still there. After that, I took out a blank journal. I wrote across the cover in big bold letters My thought journal. I used it to write down every negative thing that happens to me but then I write down a

substitute for it that is good. It helped for a few days until I had volleyball in gym class. My bully was in the gym class and I knew something was going to happen when he started to whisper to his step brother. He also had a devilish look on his face like he was planning something that was going to be "funny". We started to practice our serves and I made sure to stay as far away from them as possible. But they kept coming closer to me. Then my bully took his volleyball and threw it at my back as hard as he could to hit me. I was so mad I went up to my gym teacher and told her but all she did was tell me to move away from them. They did it three more times before she actually did something. But by the time she did something class was over. All this was getting way out of hand. I didn't understand what I did to deserve being treated this way. My bullying has never gotten so bad that I was thinking about cutting myself. So I went to my principal for some help. He took me into his office and we started to talk about what was going on. I told him everything from the verbal harassment to the punch and the volleyballs to the thing that happened in the bathroom. After he heard all this he was starting to look really concerned. He said that he was going to have the bully come in here and he was going to talk to him. That made me felt better and I was happy the rest of the period. Up until he was stopped in the hallway by the stern looking principal. He was walking with the girl that bullied me in the bathroom and she went ahead while he was spoke to. She saw me and I tried to hide my face in the crowd but I didn't fit into the crowd that I was in because she knew it was me. She came up to me and said "So you went and cried to the principal you big baby. Did you really think he was going to do anything. He is my friend not yours and you can't make him become your friend because you can't handle being a friendless loser." Then she walked off with her cheesy smile when she passed the principal. The principal stopped me in the hall and told me to meet me in his office during math class tomorrow. I told him okay and walked away not realizing that my bully was at my locker. He said some words to me and then I said some back.

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