BULLIED

Story 112

My story isn't as deep as some really horrible ones. It hasn't really a happy ending neither a sad one nor that is maybe because it's still lived.

Anyways I'll just tell my small story:

It all started when I was around nine. I don't remember it clearly but there are always little parts of memories emerging in my head again. I remember it being at the beginning of the year. It was my second year at this school and I had friends and one good friend. I don't say 'best' because she partially made me suffer.

Since the beginning of the year she started hanging out with another friend and forgot about me and I don't even know why. It made me feel bad, like I wasn't a good friend.

The real deal is that we had a combined 4th grade and 5th class and in the upper class was a boy I had a crush on. It wasn't love at first sight but I found him handsome and funny.

Another 'friend' whom I'm going to call FRIEND1 has been tagging along with me for the beginning of the year. We wrote secrets in a journal but the thing is that this girl had a big brother in 5th grade and he read the journal.

We had a fight in class when the teacher was out and he started insulting me and his sister, telling us that he knew who we liked. He started telling it to everybody.

The boy I liked started ignoring me and every time I would get near him even by accident he would tell me to 'fuck off'.

FRIEND1's brother wouldn't stop insulting me even after that, calling me: 'Bitch' 'an annoying nickname' and 'worthless shit'. I started insulting him back but FRIEND1 defended his brother and suddenly it was me against the whole class.

I hadn't even one friend to stand up for me. I was bullied morally but this was enough to make me understand that swearing back wasn't the good thing to do.

I started eating alone, being alone. The only 'persons' I could call my friends were the books of the library. I devoured day by day the books because I actually had nothing else to do.

I cocooned myself in a violent bubble. I was scared to talk to people in fear they would hate me or even insult me. I got pretty sensitive and even a small remark could make me depressive.

I was bullied because I loved. Even know when I look back I find it pretty stupid.

After that I think you understood that falling in love for me was something I did not wish. 4th grade was the most horrible year of my life.

I still do not understand why? Maybe it was my tomboy look? My obsessive behavior of having good grades? Or maybe just me being a nobody?

I changed after that. I became more violent and rude which cause many fights with my parents. They did not understand what it was being alone for a whole year with people insulting you everytime you talked to them.

Through the years I tried to find my old self because I hated what I've become. I didn't want to become cold and mean every time a boy greeted me or having a hard time making friends and every second wondering if the next day they would ignore me

But thanks to my books I fell in love with writing and thanks to writing I regained self confidence and learned things about myself that I never would have guessed. I really love to write and I'm sure that will never end.

For those who have been reading this I'm just passing by a message to say that even in darker days there is always hopeful light but it can only be given to you if you are willing to take it. You should always do what you love and forget what the others say because the only argument that matters is yours.

And if you ever get bullied again don't cry-don't provoke-don't insult. Gather up your inner strength and Smile because believe it or not he is weaker than you are.