BULLIED

Submission 526

I was six when it started. At first it was just a few kids but soon it turned into the entire grade. I had not a single friend. They called me things like ugly, stinky, stupid. I know it doesn't seem bad but just the year before everyone had liked me. I wasn't used to it. It got worse the next year. I had decided to fight back with words. I asked them what I had done to make them hate me and their response; "you were born." At seven years old I was told that nobody wanted me to exist and that hurt me a lot. I dealt with this till I moved in fifth grade. I had only moved one town over so the bullying quickly started up again. It was different this time though. I had a friend who I could go too. At least I did, until people thought we were dating and he stopped talking to me. I made it through the year but, I again spent most of it alone. My best friend wasn't in my grade and could only comfort me on the bus. See, I had met her that year a couple months before school started. She lived down the street from me. She never made fun of me or bullied me in any way. I know if she had been there she would have tried to stop the bullies. At the end if that school year my mother moved us to Virginia. It lasted six months but it was the best six months of my life. I was again the girl everyone liked. It wasn't because of how I looked though. Of course just like anywhere there's your general bad-boy asshole but he wasn't a bully. Just a jerk. I kept in touch with my best friend up here and though I missed her terribly i wasn't happy when my mom decided to move us back to where the torture started. As soon as I went back to school people moved away from me and called me names again. I went home crying almost everyday. I just couldn't comprehend why they hated me so much. That year was terrible. Summer came and passed and I started middle school. Choir was the one class where I could really be me. I made a friend in that class. Her and I got into a few fights but I knew she'd always have my back. The year ended and my mom told me how we were moving again back to where I was in fifth grade. I couldn't wait. I thought the grass would be greener on the other side. I was so wrong. The people where I moved to were meaner. There were times where I'd cry in school and they'd just laugh. I was treated like a joke and a nerd. The only good thing that happened to me was that I got to see and be near my best friend again. I graduated eighth grade in 2011. I couldn't wait to start high school. I was going to a magnet school so it was out of district. That meant that no one would know who I was and that the bullying would stop. I was again wrong. The bullying got worse except this time it was words it was actions. I would be avoided. Treated like a friend but then ignored again. Looked at like a disease. I'd hear whispers about me behind my back soon to be followed by laughter. I didn't feel safe in any class. Not even my theatre class. I hated it. I wanted to get out. I wanted an escape. I turned to a blade in 2012. It was spring and it just started as scratches. Never enough for people to be suspicious. As the silent bullying got worse, so did the cutting. I drew blood for the first time in the fall of 2013. I got caught in March of 2014. I relapsed about twice since caught but on my thigh instead of my wrist. I battled anorexia all of that year. My family had no clue. I just 'lost my appetite from the crazy weather this year' and soon started soccer. My senior year was the year that I kept to myself. I had my boyfriend, well he's my ex now and turned out to be an ass, and I had my best friend. I've been in revovery for a little over a year and my life is starting to turn around. I'm finally be coming happy with who I am even if other people are not. I know there will always be haters but at somepoint life stops revolving around them and I know that even if I'm having a very slow start, I'm on my way to becoming something great. I don't know if my story will help anyone or change anything about society but I can't even tell you how many times my life has been saved by random strangers and I hope that people seeing my story and knowing they aren't alone will help and save someone just like so many have done for me. Including my best friend who is still with me after eight years and I can't tell you how grateful I am that she is.